


Win and Lose  (Complete)

by I_hate_the_snow



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: Secrets, indifelity, more tags to be added later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:56:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 25,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_hate_the_snow/pseuds/I_hate_the_snow
Summary: Rick Grimes has to navigate his world through secrets of his own and a ghost from his past. When worlds collide, will he be able to hold onto his troubled marriage, or will his world be torn apart?**Heavily inspired by "Loss and Gain" by LyraVerse on FF
Relationships: Lori Grimes/Rick Grimes, Rick Grimes/Negan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

The woman exhaled smoothly as she slowly returned to consciousness from her blissful peak. She leaned down and exchanged prolonged, deep kisses with her lover as she moved her legs from straddling his crotch to lying next to him.

"You alright?" He rasped.

"As always." She replied with a grin.

They lay together quietly, covered with a thin sheen of each other's sweat.

The moments ticked by, and after a prolonged silence she dared ask the question.

"Are you gonna tell her?"

He immediately rolled to his side of the hotel's bed and placed his feet on the floor.

"We've been over this. This is not a good time."

Andrea's mood switched from heavenly afterglow to sudden rage.

"It's been over a year, Grimes. When will it be a good time?"

He leaned forward, pinching the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb, waiting again for the upcoming onslaught of her wrath.

"Over a year, Rick. First her mother was dying from cancer. Then her father died. I love these hookups, but I'm getting sick of being your side piece. What is the reason of the day now?"

"She's pregnant." He spat.

The strawberry blonde woman glared at his muscular back, unable to process what he just said.

"What?"

"Lori's pregnant. We may need to step back for a while."

The words hung in the air like a thick betrayal.

She lunged forward and raked her long fingernails down his back, drawing spots of blood.

"What the fuck, Andrea?" He leapt up. "Why'd you do that?"

"Just marking my territory. Try explaining that to Olive Oyl."

Without a word, Rick collected his clothes and headed into the shower, desperate to wash the scent of another woman off his body. When the door clicked, Andrea slid out of bed to look for her purse. After rustling through the contents, she found her cell phone.

Her hands were shaking as she scrolled through her contacts, finally finding the name of her friend since law school.

Pausing for a moment, she thought about what could be done. She could set up the phone to record their next encounter and send it to his wife. Or send it to the newspaper, that would be more than happy to pick up the beginning of a scandal. A well-respected sheriff caught in an extra marital affair in a swanky hotel while he had a pregnant wife and pre-teen son at home. Or the many, many sexually charged text messages they exchanged, the naked pictures they shared or the ones she took of him while he was sleeping next to her.

"She's pregnant."

The words stung. She was supposed to be the woman in his life, not some Suzie Homemaker with no life goals except for nabbing the next sale at the supermarket.

When she heard the water stop, she knew she had to do something. She scanned the room for his gunbelt, knowing in the back of her mind he took it with him into the locked bathroom. She could shoot him and make it look like a lovers' quarrel gone wrong. She knew a few people who would help her stage the scene and destroy evidence.

But she knew of a bigger plan, one that was concocted years ago, when her friend's world imploded.

Finding the mane, she started the text message.

"Finish him."

Rick opened the bathroom door just as she pressed the send button. He was fully dressed in his cop uniform and searched for the words to explain himself. Andrea stood before him, without clothes and with the body he couldn't resist. A tight figure, not marred by stretch marks, flat tummy and perfect breasts.

"One more round?" She teased.


	2. Chapter 2

Rick pulled into his parking spot at the police station just as his buddy and former partner, Shane Walsh, returned from his shift, pulling into his own space a few yards away.

“Nice long lunch?” Shane asked, sarcastically.

“As always.” The sheriff replied with a sly smile.

The raven-haired officer couldn’t help but mask his disgust as Rick described his most recent encounter with Andrea.

“She can’t get enough. And the way she tastes…”

“Stop.” Shane snapped. 

“Why? I loved your stories, now it’s my turn.”

“Whatever, dude.” Shane responded, as he turned and walked into the station, leaving his friend behind in the parking lot.

* * *

Shane began to undress at his locker, peeling off his uniform before heading to the showers. He stood under the hot steam, letting the water wash away the filth of the day and the people he met. 

His disdain for his closest friend grew by the day. Rick had it all; a beautiful, loving wife, a son to carry on the family name, and a baby on the way.

_The night at the frat house was never far from his mind. With all the half drunk and vulnerable sorority girls dancing awkwardly to the blaring music, his attention was diverted to the new arrival. She was tall and thin, with her long, dark hair pulled back into a long braid. The moment Shane saw the woman, he knew he wanted to know more about her._

_As he trotted to the kitchen to get a fresh beer, he quickly walked into the living room only to see Rick already chatting with her._

_He had to pretend to be happy for his friend when the two dated, but always managed to sneak a peek at her during the night, when the two thought he was asleep and it was there time to be intimate._

_Then came the wedding day. He had never seen a woman look so beautiful. Rick and Lori seemed so perfect together, and Shane was never so miserable. His heart thundered in his chest when he asked her for a dance, taking small joy in holding her in his arms._

_He often questioned his friendship with Rick. Did he hang out with him only to be around Lori? Possibly. Other than reminiscing over the times in high school, there really wasn’t much to talk about. Rick was a married family man, Shane was a single ladies’ man._

_Over time he began to resent is friend, the shy kid in high school and college who hit the lottery when he married the woman way out of his league. Shane learned to be quiet when Rick would talk about married life, roll his eyes when he would nit-pick over the trivial things Lori would do, and faked a smile the day Rick proudly boasted about becoming a father._

Shane tried to find love in a long line of one-night stands and the occasional hooker, and a year just one year ago, when a blonde bombshell strolled into the police department, his attention was diverted. The blonde attorney seemed to have it all – stiletto heels, a short skirt and push up bra. He thought he could change his outlook and find a woman to share his life the way Rick found Lori.

Those plans were dashed when he walked into the department’s gymnasium and heard moans from the small closet in the corner. Ever curious, he went to see who was getting lucky.

His jaw dropped when he saw the blonde bent over, her skirt hiked up and panties on the floor. Rick was positioned behind her, standing with one hand buried in her hair and his other hand holding her crotch.

He slammed the door in anger and walked with purpose out to the parking lot, wanting to retreat to his condo and turn off his brain for a while. It wasn’t too long before he heard Rick’s voice behind him.

“Shane, hold up.”

Rick ran after his friend as Shane kept up the fast pace, resisting the urge to swing around and punch Rick in the face. He pressed the key fob, unlocking his car, and was about to slide into the driver's seat before Rick stopped him from closing the door.

“What, Rick?”

“You gotta help me out. Not a word to Lori. Please.”

Shane sighed, and stayed silent for a moment.

“Why? Why, man? You have it all. Don’t do this.”

“Just…not a word. I’ll see you later.”

“Rick…do you have any idea how lucky you are with Lori? Do you know how many men would jump at the chance to live your life? You don’t know who that woman is. Don’t do this to Lori.”

“Just don’t say a word.”

* * *

That night, when he spent his usual Friday night at the Grimes house, he could barely meet his friend’s eyes when he saw him go overboard with his affection for his wife. He reached for Lori’s waist and pulled her to sit on his lap, ran his fingers through her naturally soft hair, and stole frequent kisses.

Lori, who was not used to the sudden change in her husband, enjoyed the attention he showed her. Her expression changed when she noticed their friend was sitting with his arms crossed, just staring at the untouched slice before him.

“Long day, bro?” Rick asked, with a small smirk.

He responded slowly, with just a simple, “yep.”

“You okay, Shane? Want me to get you some Motrin? Ginger ale?” She asked sweetly.

“I’m alright.”

“Sorry.” She replied, reaching across the table and squeezing his hand.

He looked at her features. Flawless, ivory skin, piercing brown eyes with a touch of hazel, and long black silky hair dotted with dark red undertones. She took his breath away every time she was around him. 

“Thanks, Lori. You’re a good friend.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand again before standing from Rick’s lap and headed to the fridge for some soda.

Rick glared at him, part begging for silence and part warning him to stay quiet. Shane wanted to say something; anything.

* * *

A few days into Rick’s affair with Andrea, Shane asked to switch partners. Lori never asked, but he always had a flimsy excuse of “some new policy” if she ever questioned the change. He couldn’t take the blatant uncaring attitude Rick showed, and every time Shane heard Rick was on a lunch break, he’d drive by The Plaza hotel and see the police car parked next to a red BMW.

He stayed one day, parked out of view in the shade of a sycamore tree. As the minutes turned into an hour, he gritted his teeth as he saw them leave the hotel together and exchange a kiss before getting in their cars and driving in different directions.

The nights when he was alone were the worst part. He thought of the different scenarios that could unfold. Maybe he could “not see” another shooter, or maybe a case of friendly fire would solve the problem. Lori would need comforting, and Carl would need a father figure. Rick would be out of the picture, the blonde would disappear, and Shane would take Rick’s secret to his grave. It was almost too perfect.

“Walsh!”

The booming voice snapped him out of his trance. A voice he knew all too well.

“What is it, Rick?” Shane turned the water off and reached for his towel.

“Lori just texted me. Carl wants to see Uncle Shane. Pizza tonight?” He said, his lips curled into a disgusting smile.


	3. Chapter 3

The early morning sun streamed through the Grimes’ kitchen window. Carl was sitting at the table, trying to pass a level of Angry Birds on his tablet, while Rick’s full attention was focused on the sports page of the local newspaper.

Lori had finished another batch of pancakes, with the skillet in one hand and the spatula in the other, she walked over to the table and asked, “who wants seconds?”

“Me!” Carl said enthusiastically.

“Sure, sweetie. You like the Bisquick mix better than mine?” She teased.

“No, mom…it’s just…”

“I’m kidding, honey. Even I didn’t like those. I added a pinch of cinnamon to these. Honey, you want some?”

Rick didn’t answer, his attention on the Braves game last night. 

“Hon?”

Carl squirmed at the silence before adding, “Dad!”

Rick lowered the paper and muttered, “hmm?”

“Do you want some more pancakes?” Lori repeated.

Rick shook his head “no” before standing and walking out of the kitchen.

Carl’s smile faded as he turned his focus back to his breakfast. Lori, her eyes wet with hormonal tears, wiped her face before starting to clear Rick’s dishes.

* * *

In the master bathroom, Rick was busy on his cell phone. He was anxious for a reply text from Andrea, after sending her countless messages in the past twelve hours. He placed the phone on the counter and closely inspected his neck for any trace of their last encounter.

The phone binged with an incoming message. He smiled when he saw it was Andrea.

“Sorry about yesterday. Take a long lunch break. I want you inside me. NOW.”

He grinned when he saw the attached naked selfie and had to resist the urge to masturbate, wanting to save all of his energy for her.

Another bing. “I’m gonna make it so good for you today. Come to my place. Same drill – plain clothes and sunglasses/baseball cap. You’re gonna fuck me so hard.”

“Damn right I will. TTYL.”

He had to steady himself. There were only two things standing between him and an hour of mind-blowing sex: his pregnant wife and son.

Checking his watch, he saw he had just enough time for a quick conversation, pretend things are normal, and leave. He promised himself that after the baby is born, he’ll stop things with the blonde. Or at least cut back the visits to a few days a week.

He spent some time scrolling through pictures Andrea sent. Pictures of body parts he licked, sucked and tickled with his mouth. He had to stop once he felt himself get hard again, wanting to fully exert himself with Andrea, not Lori.

He glanced at the clock on the wall before leaving the bathroom for the last time. He briskly walked into the kitchen, expecting to see his packed lunch and a thermos full of coffee. Instead he saw an empty table, his son sitting on the sofa playing with his tablet, and the sound of Lori vomiting in the powder room off the kitchen.

Sighing loudly in frustration, he grabbed the loaf of bread and some turkey from the top shelf of the fridge. He didn’t hear the bathroom door open; not that he was paying attention and was startled when he felt Lori’s hand on his back.

“Jesus, don’t scare me like that.” He snapped.

“Sorry. Let me take over.”

As she finished making his lunch, she could feel the tension between them, and tried to make conversation to lighten the mood.

“So how was your day yesterday?”

“Fine.”

“How do you like being on your own and not with Shane?”

“It’s fine. Where’s the thermos?”

“Oh, God. I’m so sorry.” She opened the dishwasher and started to wash it by hand. “I’m sorry, hon. I just get so forgetful these days. The ultrasound is scheduled for next Wednesday at ten.”

He sighed heavily and waited for her to finish.

“Is everything okay? You just seem so distant. Is it the stress of a new baby?”

He remained silent, just tapping his fingers on the counter while he scrolled through his phone again. He didn’t feel like answering.

“Shit. Honey. I’m sorry. It’ll take just a few minutes to brew a fresh pot.”

“No coffee?

“I’m so sorry.” She repeated. “It’ll just take a few minutes to make a fresh pot.”

“Never mind. I’ll get it elsewhere.” He headed to the door to the garage, having to hide a quick smile at the double meaning of what he just said.

“Rick, wait…” Lori ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. "You need to fix your shirt,” she said, after giving him the once over. “You've mismatched the buttons."

He stopped and stared at her, annoyed, before looking down at himself. "Dammit!" he said, untucking his uniform shirt.

Chuckling, she batted his hands away. Then, starting at the bottom, she undid each of the buttons in turn, until only the mismatched one at his collar remained.

"I _can_ fix my own shirt."

She looked up to find him watching her intently, with an emotion she couldn’t quiet describe in his eyes. "Sorry! I was just...wasn't...that I didn't think you couldn't..." Embarrassed, she let go of his shirt and would have stepped back and watched as he fixed his shirt.

The two spouses stood together, the divide of silence making them feel miles apart. He thought back to how it was when they first got married; every morning she would give him a tight embrace and two kisses: one for love and the other for luck.

He tried to rationalize the situation. If he mentally removed himself from the memories he shared with his wife, it would ease the guilt of being with another woman. 

“I’m sorry. I know today is a bad day.”

He paused, thinking about specific dates. His wife was notorious for celebrating the little anniversaries in their life; when they first met, their first date, the first kiss, the first “I love you,” the night he proposed…

“After I drop off Carl I’ll go to the cemetery and drop off some flowers. I miss them too.”

The next few moments were a blur. His arms went from resting at his side to wrapping them around his wife. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling the sweet honey almond shampoo she used.

“Thank you.” He said and left without another word.

* * *

Miles down the road, after he pulled into a parking space in a strip mall, all the emotions he held over the past few years came rushing out. He remembered. 

_After years of flaunting his extra-marital affairs in front of his wife, his mother had enough and filed for divorce. Not wanting to lose his police pension, and not wanting to be embarrassed in the community, Rick’s father loaded his revolver with two bullets. After shooting his wife where she stood, at the kitchen stove while cooking his dinner, he turned the gun on himself._

_James Grimes was a cruel, sadistic man who took pleasure in humiliating his sons and wife every chance he could. Cold, cruel words said in the presence of others still lingered in the back of Rick’s mind._

_The elder Grimes wouldn’t hide the fact that other women would call him at home, not shying away when his wife answered the phone. Rick slowly realized that he had become the man he loathed._

_He removed his phone from his pocket and started deleting Andrea’s pictures and text messages. He erased everything he sent to her. He planned to get her phone when he would go to her apartment and destroy it, hoping that every trace of his mistake would be forgotten._

_Flashes of the day he and Shane were called to the scene of his parents’ house snapped like lightning in his mind. It was five years ago but it felt like yesterday. The smell of gun powder, stale blood, and the way his mother looked; innocent and crumbled, her life snuffed out at the hands of the man she loved, but he didn’t love her back._

_Their fellow officers, Abraham Ford and Leon Bassett tried to hold them back, but Rick pushed past them, until one of the crime scene techs physically restrained him._

_”You can’t destroy evidence.” Eugene Porter whispered._

_“That’s my mom.”_

_“I’m sorry.” Porter responded, flatly._

_Shane wrapped his arm around his partner’s waist and helped him to the police cruiser. Rick vaguely recalled listening to the phone call to Lori, who was home alone, Carl in Kindergarten. He pulled into the driveway and helped Rick to the front door, where he collapsed into Lori’s arms, sobbing so forcefully his body shook. Without a word, Lori held him tightly, rubbing him back._

_Without asking, Shane picked Carl up from school that night and tried his best to explain what happened. He kept the boy at his house until Lori called to bring him home._

Rick sat in his car, thinking of everything Lori did during that time. She was the one to make funeral arrangements. She took care of the sale of his parents’ house. She tried to contact Jeffrey, Rick’s only sibling, but there was no luck. She was the one to sit with him in the bathroom throughout the night when a grief-induced anxiety attack brought the tall, strong officer into a sobbing mess.

“What have I done?” He asked himself. Andrea was his only indiscretion in ten years of marriage. He’ll never make that mistake again. She would be a memory, he convinced himself. Everything would end today, five years after the day his world changed. Maybe someday he’ll tell Lori, and maybe she’ll understand. Maybe he’ll die in the line of duty and she’ll never know.

Rick drove back to the station feeling so guilty that he thought he might be sick to his stomach. He had, as he slowly realized, became the monster his father was. He imagined the look of pain and resentment in his wife’s eyes when she found out. He had to text Andrea and cancel their plans. Then the slow realization of the history of the digital footprint he left – although he deleted everything from his phone, she still had copies. She had the receipts of the hotel stays, and she could easily send them to Lori.

 _"You're gonna end up a divorced old grump instead of a happily married father, idiot._ " his conscious whispered.

After an hour of patrolling the streets he arrived at the Gates of Heaven cemetery. He hadn’t been there since the day of the funeral. That was a door he couldn’t bring himself to open. He missed his mother terribly but didn’t want to waste his time being in same vicinity as his father.

He parked his cruiser and looked at the small hill under the angel statue. A familiar figure was already there, hunched over. After grabbing the flowers from the passenger seat, he walked up to join his wife. She had been crying, and when she slid into his open arms he took in the familiar, delicious scent of her skin. 

“You came.” She said, through tears.

“Yeah.” 

The air was cool under the thick canopy of trees which shadowed most of the cemetery, saturated by a dank smell of earth and decayed leaves. A thick carpet of crabgrass blanketed the bases of the stones and crawled over the roots of the nearby trees, choking out any grass which might have otherwise dared to spout there. They sat together, sitting on the old blanket Lori brought with her. He stood and walked up to his mother’s headstone, squatted down and kissed the top of the stone gently.

“Hey mama. These are for you.” He placed his flowers next to the ones Lori brought over, then rejoined his wife.

“I love you, Lori. I’ve always loved you. I’m so sorry I’ve been such as ass lately.”

Without a word, she enveloped him in his arms, letting him rest his face on her shoulder and rubbing her fingers through his hair.

“I love you too. And don’t apologize. I know it’s the stress of the job. It’s okay.”

Her empathy, combined with the secret guilt he carried, brought forth an onslaught of emotions he never expected to feel. He began shaking, just as he did the day he saw his mother’s body.

“It’s okay, and I love you.” She repeated, her voice soft and gentle.

“How did I get so lucky to find you?” He sobbed, tightening his embrace. “I love you so much. Things will be different now. I’m so sorry.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Where are you?”

“Just got back to this God forsaken place. Now I remember why I left.”

Andrea chuckled at the response.

“I’ve got plenty of wine. Just come directly here. When he gets here, we can do what we want. I’ve crushed up the Xanax, so he won’t know what hit him.”

“I want him to suffer, just like he hurt me.”

“It’ll happen. See you soon.”

Michonne Anthony placed her phone back in the cupholder of her old Pontiac. She bit her lip to keep the memories at bay. Everything reminded her of what she lost – what was taken from her. Her eyes darted to the movie theater, the Popeye’s, the barbecue restaurant. 

She drove past the apartment complex she shared with Mike, Terry and Andre. She felt the tears form but refused to let them flow.

_“Don’t ignore the memories.”_

“Mike, stop it.” She mumbled.

_“Remember The Grove? Our apartment?”_

“Of course I do.”

_“Remember the life we had?”_

“Don’t do this to me.”

_“You have to do this. Andre should be in preschool. You haven’t even visited our graves.”_

“Stop!” Her voice echoed in the empty car.

* * *

“Just gimmie the wine.” Michonne said flatly, as soon as she entered Andrea’s apartment.

She downed the glass of Merlot in one gulp and asked for more. “So, what’s the plan? Do we drug him? Then what?”

“We are going to ruin his career. We have to do whatever it takes. His bitch of a wife is pregnant again.”

“Why don’t we get to her? I can call one of Terry’s friends. Make sure she gets stabbed or carjacked. Slit her throat. Shoot the kid.”

Andrea became quiet, just thinking. “I’ve been doing him. Ever since I got here.”

“You’re sleeping with him? With the guy who killed my baby?” Michonne spat, incensed.

“I’m setting out a plan to mess with him. He’s not that good of a lay anyway. He’s hung like a mosquito. I have pictures and text messages. Enough to kill the image of a family man, that’s for sure.”

It was Michonne’s turn to remain quiet. She thought about the ramifications. He’d get divorced and probably lose custody of his kids. But that won’t bring her son back. It won’t bring Mike or Terry back.

“No, I want more. He needs to go to prison.”

Andrea shook her head. “Hon, it’s not that easy. I’ve checked the file. He was cleared. Him and the other one. What happened that night…”

“Don’t do this to me, Andrea. You know what happened. Hell…I’ll take one for the team and crawl into bed with him. But there’s a difference between you and me. I won’t flinch when I kill him.”

“And then the family gets sympathy and money. Where’s your family? This needs to be done the right way.”

“I want them dead. Make nice with them, string them along, and then do it.”

“Then you need to listen to me, and don’t mess with my plans.”


	5. Chapter 5

In a small town of Lincoln, in the center of Kings County, Georgia, a storm was brewing. The knowledge was held only by two women, bound together by the common goal of one man's destruction. He was the center of the storm, the eye of the coming cyclone.

Michonne's collaboration had strengthened Andrea's courage enough to begin putting a plan in motion, but still there were days when the realization of what she was about to do left her breathless with anxiety.

* * *

Her manicured fingers typed out a message to her loved, “You ditched me yesterday. I’m disappointed.”

Minutes passed before he responded. “Meet me in the lobby of my department in one hour.”

She showed Michonne the message and they both laughed when she typed, “Oooh…. I’m guessing you want your co-workers to know about us? Doing it in the lobby will be a good way to find out.”

She placed the phone on the coffee table and waited for his response. 

“Does he always do this? Take his sweet time getting back to you?”

“Yeah, he’s a jackass.”

Eventually the phone binged with a new message. “One hour.”

She replied almost immediately. “Alright, sexy. I’ve always loved doing it in public.”

* * *

Andrea was dress to kill. Or at least, dress to get the man with her plan. She poured herself into blue dress that hugged her curves and ended at the knee, with a slit that ran up to her thigh. Michonne helped her squeeze into a bra that was a size too small but enhanced her cleavage.

“Black stilettos.” She barked, and Michonne ran to her closet to get the requested shoes.

With a face full of makeup and her breasts falling out of her dress, she was ready to go.

* * *

A red BMW pulled into a visitor’s spot at the local precinct. She flipped the mirror down to check her makeup and applied another coat of lipstick. 

She took her time walking…strutting into the building, wanting eyes to be on her. Her high heels echoed throughout the lobby of the police station. She approached the busy receptionist who raised one index finger, the other hand on the phone.

Despite the other woman being busy, Andrea proceeded to knock on the glass until the phone all was cut short.

“Something I can help you with, ma’am?” Carol asked, annoyed.

“Page Rick Grimes, now.”

She walked over to the row of chairs and made sure to take the one directly in the sunbeam, hoping it would make her highlights shimmer.

The heavy oak door buzzed, and Rick walked out with Shane, both stopping five feet away.

“Andrea. This is my partner, Shane Walsh. He is recording this conversation. You are in a building that has audio and visual recording. I want to inform you that our personal relationship is over. Please leave the premise immediately.”

Rick turned and walked away, out of the lobby and Andrea could only watch as the door shut with a quiet “thud.”

“Why are you still here?” She asked Shane.

“I’m here to make sure you leave. You have thirty seconds, or you will be arrested for trespassing and thrown in jail.

“Just let me talk to Rick.”

“Deputy Grimes doesn’t want to speak to you. Twenty-nine…. twenty-eight…twenty-seven.”

Suddenly nervous about her own secrets being exposed, she gathered herself and left.

* * *

With all the wine, whiskey and scotch gone, Michonne had to settle for vodka.

_“You’re not doing anything.”_

She ignored the nagging voice.

_“Two years. You’re back here, but you haven’t even visited our graves. I’m guess we’re lucky we didn’t end up in Potter’s Field. You could at least visit your kid.”_

She went back into the kitchen, filling the mug with half coffee and half vodka. 

“ _I guess you really didn’t care about us at all.”_

“Stop it!” She shrieked.

_“You’re still not doing anything. Andrea is the one doing all the work.”_

“What do you want me to do? Huh? What can I do?” She stood and flung the remote control at Mike, missing him and shattered the window.

_“You still have that temper.”_

She stood and glared at Mike; her scowl deeply set in her face. 

“I’m doing what I can.”

_“It’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. You’ll never be enough.”_

Mike didn’t move the second time when she launched the coffee mug at him, shattering it into a million little pieces.

Her phone binged.

_“Ignore me again. Don’t worry, Andre isn’t missing his mom or anything.”_

Her hands were shaking as she picked up her phone.

The message was from Andrea, “He picked the police lobby because its audio and video recorded. I couldn’t do a damn thing.”

Without a second thought, Michonne typed back, “We have to get to where it hurts.”


	6. Chapter 6

Lost in her eyes, he felt the pull that had been between them for as long as he could remember. She was his ocean, drowning him - coaxing him away from the shore and the rocks, and his heart skipped a beat at the undeniable passion she aroused in him.

He leaned closer, the scent of her shampoo, and another scent, of _Lori_ , strange yet intimately familiar and intoxicating, urging him closer. He leaned forward and kissed her slowly and gently, deepening it as she looped her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her.

Rick’s mind focused only on her, he was completely unaware of her hands unbuttoning his shirt until his arms were forced down as she tugged it off of him, and then her lips were stolen from his as she pushed him back to remove his undershirt. Instead of finding hers again, they found their way to her neck as he trailed soft kisses downward. He was thwarted by her shirt which was in the way and it was a long moment before he realized he needed to unbutton it. The thought stopped him in his tracks, and he leaned back.

Lori ran her hands from where they rested on his shoulders, down his strong arms until she caught his hands in hers. She brought them up and placed a soft kiss on each in turn before guiding them to the button at the top of her blouse. He hesitated, then swallowed hard, and with determined fingers unbuttoned the first button, and then the next, until he'd undone them all. She slipped it off, looped her arms around his neck, and lay back, pulling him down with her. Rick hovered over her; his eyes full of raw passion. 

His warm breath, whispering against her neck awoke the desire for his touch that she had pushed to the furthest reaches of her mind. Her breath quickened; her heart pounding in her ears, aware of how his body fit against her own.

His hands roamed wantonly, searching, unconsciously finding and slipping under the hem of her shirt as she rose up, pressing her body to him. Her mouth left his – only for the span of a few short breaths, and then it was back, the boundary of fabric between them removed and warm skin, as soft as silk slid against his fingers. He traced the line of her collarbone, down the hollow of her throat, slipping further until they caught on something that made him open his eyes and break their kiss.

“I love you.” He said, his voice just above a whisper.

“I love you too.” She responded.

She bit her lip as he smoothly entered her, their mouths connecting gently.

When it was over, they laid together, physically exhausted but emotionally satisfied, they enjoyed the quiet time together. 

“I don’t think there’s a word to describe how much I love you.” Rick said, as he nuzzled her ear.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Lori smiled, stealing another kiss.

“Carl’s bus will be here soon.” He said, with regret.

“Hmmm?” She asked, a response to the question she missed.

“I was thinking. Let’s make a fresh start. You’ve always loved the beach. Name the place and we’ll go. Myrtle Beach, The Outer Banks, Florida, we could even go up north to Cape Cod or west to California.”

“Why? What’s this…all of a sudden? This is our home…we were born and raised here. We have friends.”

“We’ll make new ones.”

“What about my mom? My sister?”

“They’ll be fine. If we go to a smaller town, that would be less crime…maybe safer.”

“Why all of a sudden?”

“Just a thought.” He smiled at her, hoping his secret would be forgotten.

Lori sighed and swung her legs out of bed, teasing Rick as she walked naked around the room, retrieving her clothes.

“You gonna take a shower?” She asked, dressing in front of him.

“If you stay naked in front of me, I’ll have to make it a cold one.”

She chuckled to herself until Rick pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her torso. He lifted her shirt and kissed her belly, kissing his baby.

“I can’t wait to hold you, my baby.”

“You’re gonna be the best daddy.”

They parted with a kiss, Rick to hit the shower and Lori to prepare for Carl’s return from school.


	7. Chapter 7

Rick was at his desk, filling out paperwork, the blonde far from his mind. The office was a beehive of activity and the phone constant rang, but he only had one thing on his mind…Lori. What he thought was a stale marriage had suddenly resorted to what it used to be. The sex they had the night before and that morning confirmed that she will be always be the love of his life. Hopefully, the blonde will fade from his memory, and she was never in his heart.

His phone binged with an incoming text message. He sighed when he saw it was from Andrea. He hit the “ignore” button and resumed his work. Moments later another ding, another message from Andrea, and another “ignore.”

The loudspeaker crackled to life. Carol’s voice announced, “Officer Grimes, line two. Officer Grimes, call on line two.”

He slowly picked up the call, only to hear a voice he was hoping to forget.

“I strongly suggest you read my texts.” Was all she said before hanging up.

Frustrated with himself and the situation, he selected the first message. He saw his own body, naked and asleep in a bed he did not share with his wife. The second picture was of his face at Andrea’s crotch. His fingers shook as he read the message, “meet me for lunch at Alexandria Grille. Noon. Don’t be late, and don’t ignore me again.”

* * *

Rick’s gut clenched as he walked into The Alexandria Grille, a restaurant he and Lori had gone to countless times. But this time, rather than focusing on his wife, he was about to have a showdown with his biggest mistake. 

He checked his shirt pocket, fitted with a microphone and a nearby button held a tiny camera. He wanted to make sure his bases were covered.

“Hello, Rick.” The blonde said, as he slipped into the booth opposite the two. His drink of choice, Jack and Coke, was waiting for him.

Without looking at Michonne, his eyes burrowed into the blonde’s. 

“I told you we were through. You had no right to send me that text.”

“No right to send you my own text?”

“Andrea,” His teeth clenched as he tried to maintain his cool. “I’ll give you money, whatever you want. Please. Leave me alone, leave my family alone.”

Aaron, waiter at the crowded restaurant, came over to take their orders. 

“I think I’d like the filet mignon, medium rare, a side of steamed vegetables.”

Aaron nodded as he wrote down the request.

“And for you, ma’am?”

“I’ll take the lobster. And a bottle of wine for the table, please.”

The waiter smirked, most likely thinking of his tip on the expensive ticket.

“And for you, Rick?”

“Nothing.” He said quietly.

Rick sat quietly as the women chatted.

“Have you ever gotten it from behind? I’m talking pillow biting force?”

“Yeah, but not recently. My latest lover was maybe three inches at the most.”

The two chuckled with laughter.

“Look. If this is some shakedown, I’ll give you money.”

“Calm down, cowboy. I think I have something you need to see.”

By the time the food arrived the two had the contents of Michonne’s tote bag spread across the table. She brough printed out copies of all the text messages, including photos. Michonne reached into the bag and retrieved a tablet, pulling it up to a designated page.

The color from Rick's face disappeared, his frown lines now more prominent. He narrowed his eyes, his mind flashed to a million scenarios, and he felt his heart sink. Andrea smiled as she watched Rick swallow the drink in front of him. Rick didn't look well, and he was staring at the tablet in disbelief. 

The screen taunted him, zooming in, reminding him, showing his body as it slammed into Andrea’s. Michonne flipped the screen and it showed Rick’s naked body, asleep in a bed that he didn’t share with his wife. Another flip of the screen showed his face at Andrea’s crotch, as she had a handful of his hair, eyes closed in concentration, Andrea’s moans caused people to look at his table.

“Put it away.”

“Ok, Officer Friendly, here’s the deal. You do what I say. I’m in the driver’s seat now. Depending on the mood I’m in, I could send this to the little wifey, or the newspaper. Hell, I’ll take out a billboard and everyone will know what you’ve been doing.”

“What do you want?”

“Do you remember Andre Thompson?”

Rick shook his head no.

"I can't remember steak tasting any better than this!" Andrea squealed, joined in laughter by Michonne’s chuckle. 

“You gotta try this lobster.” She popped the last morsels into her mouth and placed her utensils down with a contented sigh.

"Maybe I’ll order one to go. It’s great when you’re not the one footing the bill.”

“What do you want?” Rick asked, as he slammed his fist on the table.

“Andre Thompson. The toddler from two years ago. You shot him. We need you to resign, admit your fault. Or I go to the press. Confess and I want to see you in prison. And your partner.”

“I was cleared. I remember that. Two thugs brought a baby to a drug deal. It’s not my fault.”

“But it was your bullet that was retrieved from his brain.”

“We were getting shot at. I returned fire. How was I to know there was a baby there?”

“How dare you!” Michonne hissed.

“Who are you?” Rick asked, annoyed at the interruption.

“Remember my name. Michonne Anthony. Andre was my son.”

Unsympathetic, Rick continued, “Don’t sell me that bullshit. You were that baby’s mother. Where were you at two am? I’m stating facts. Where were you – why wasn’t your kid at home with his mother instead of out with some fucking crackhead.” 

They were interrupted again by Aaron, asking if everything was okay.

“Fine, Aaron. Thanks.” Rick replied to the familiar man.

When he walked away, Andrea leaned in closer. “You do whatever we say. When we say jump, you ask how high.”

“I was cleared. It was a good shoot.”

“Andre was my son. You’re gonna pay.”

The words that came from the stranger’s mouth seemed to spin and swirl before forming a cloud in front of his face.

“Dammit, he said, his speech markedly slurred. What did you do to me?”

Andrea nodded, and Michonne went into action. She pulled Rick to standing and took one of his arms and waited for Andrea to take his other side. They started to carry him out to Andrea’s car. 

Rick, despite being heavily drugged, tried to reach out and grab onto the nearby table, and then the waiter’s arm.

“Is something wrong, sir?” another waiter came over.

“Call 911. Don’t let them go.” He heard himself try to say. What actually came out of his mouth was a mystery.

* * *

He slowly came to consciousness in the hospital, Lori’s hand holding his own.

“Where am I?”

“Oh, thank God. Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m not sure."

“Aaron at Alexandria said you had lunch with two women. He said you looked like you were arguing with them. He said that you looked angry, and when they tried to get you to leave you looked really drunk. You mumbled for help and they dropped you and ran.”

Snapping back to full consciousness asked, “Did anybody get a plate number?”

“I don’t think so. Rick, please talk to me…what’s going on?”

* * *

Rick slowly stated to speak, “Remember when that drug deal went bad and the kid got shot?”

“Yeah.”

“The kid’s mother was there, with her attorney. They’re trying to make it seem like I screwed up and killed the kid.”

“Why didn’t they go to the department? Isn’t there a protocol for this? Did they manipulate the crime scene pics?”

“Can we talk about this when we get home?”

Silence blanketed the room.

“Okay. Are they trying to set you up or something? Doctor Greene said there was amounts of Ketamine in your system.”

He stared at the ceiling before lifting Lori’s hand to his mouth and kissing the smooth skin.

“Can we please talk about this at home? It’s complicated.”

* * *

His left cheek was pink from the three well deserved slaps she gave him.

“Did you ever use a condom with her?”

“Sometimes”

“So, you could have given me an STD. I’ll have to go to a clinic outside of town to get checked out.”

Rick remained quiet, not wanting to say another word. His cheek was on fire.

“Jesus, Rick. I know I can be a bitch sometimes. Hell, I don’t even like myself sometimes. But was I really that bad? For this to go on for over a year? Did you hate me that much?”

“Whoa, baby, I never hated you.

“That’s bullshit, you asshole. Did you see her the morning I took the pregnancy test?”

“Yes.”

Another slap.

Glancing sideways, he caught Lori brushing at something on her face that might have been a tear. He said nothing. There was nothing to say.

Lori waited, thinking. “So that day…the anniversary of your parents. You were thinking about her, weren’t you? I was an obstacle…something to push aside to get to your lover. I thought you were so upset because it was the anniversary, but instead you were in a mood because you didn’t want to be with me, you were on your way to be with her. Weren’t you?”

“Yes, but…”

A louder slap echoed throughout the room.

“That was the morning I ended it.”

"So, when were you gonna tell me? After you'd _left_ me? I'm not a child, Rick! I don't need you taking care of me!"

"Lori..."

"Don't!" she hissed, glaring down at him. "Don't even say it, Rick. Whatever you're thinking of telling me, just forget it." She walked to the far corner of the kitchen, out of sight.

"Lori," he pleaded, following her, "please...just give me a chance to explain..."

Lori, who had spent the last five minutes watching her world fall to pieces in front of her, choked back a sob

“What’s to explain? You’ve been sleeping with another woman for the past year. You’ve been in her bed even after finding out that I was pregnant. I took vows, Rick. You took vows. ‘to have and to hold, in good times and in bad, I promise to be true to you. Remember that “I promise to be true to you?”

“I’m sorry, Lori. Please.”

“Get out! Just leave. Go live with your whore. I don’t want you here anymore.”

“Wait, Lori…please!”

“No! No! There’s no excuse you can give me for this. Go be with your girlfriend. We are THROUGH!”

* * *

She had regained her composure when Rick returned to the kitchen, holding a duffle bag. He found her sitting quietly at the table, nursing her untouched water, lost in faraway distant thoughts, engulfed in sadness. She hadn't noticed he was standing by the door watching her. But even if she had, she wasn't acknowledging him. she was too focused at staring into space.

Rick dropped a note on the counter before taking a deep breath and leaving his home, for what he hoped was not the last time.

Later, Lori wasn’t sure how much time passed, she picked up the note, and her eyes filled with tears when she read, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I still love you.”


	8. Chapter 8

Shane was relaxing at his apartment, trying to find a game on the TV when an unexpected knock startled him. He stood from his easy chair and went to see who the unexpected visitor was.

“Rick, what’s up?”

He held up a duffle bag, and by the look in his eyes Shane knew the answer.

“I need help.” Rick said flatly. 

Without a word, Shane stepped aside and allowed his friend into the apartment. Rick turned from the main room down a short hallway that ended with two bedrooms, a smaller one to the right and a larger one to the left. Rick went into the smaller one and shut the door. The room was sparse, containing only a small twin sized bed and a dresser to the far side of it. He shut the door gently and dropped his bag on the floor, then sat on the bed.

* * *

It seems like hours had passed before a gentle knock sounded at the bedroom door.

“Yeah.” 

Shane walked in, not wanting to make eye contact.

“So, what happened?”

Rick sighed deeply and began. He spoke of how Andrea and some other woman had his indiscretions recorded, and they want him to confess to something he was cleared of. He recalled being drugged and waking up in a hospital, Lori at his side.

Then, as he fought off his own tears, he told his friend the utter heartbreak he saw in Lori’s eyes when he confessed to the affair.

“What am I gonna do?”

Shane, who didn’t hold much pity for his friend, sighed.

“I told you…the day I caught you in the gym. You have it made with Lori. Most of the guys I know would give their left nut to be with her.”

Rick sat unmoving, not speaking, just staring off into space.

“Have you thought about what you’re gonna do?” Shane’s voice broke the silence.

“We gotta check the old case. Gotta get the info about the mother.”

He reached into his shirt pocket and produced a flash drive. 

“I recorded the whole damn thing.”

* * *

Two weeks later

Lori sipped her tea slowly, staring at her engagement and wedding rings as she holds her coffee mug. The sunlight flowing in from the window hit them to make the gold and diamonds sparkle. The rings Rick had slipped onto her finger all those years ago.

In the two weeks since Rick left, or, rather, since she kicked him out, she spent her days crying and her nights not sleeping.

She tried to avoid the mental images that began to flash in her mind of her husband and a nameless, faceless woman, of his hands caressing the woman, pulling her body flush up against his, and spilling himself inside her. Naked, sweaty bodies entwined, enjoying the afterglow. The more she thought about Rick being naked with this other woman, the more her anxiety and depression returned. The thought of her husband’s tongue licking another woman’s crotch sent her running to the powder room to vomit and unleash her raw emotions.

* * *

Rick wasn't sure what had woken him. It could have been the sound of an animal, or the moonlight which spilled in through the window, or the bed that wasn't his own. Perhaps it was an unconscious need to assure himself that reality had not fallen away into some crazy dream and that Lori was still there, lying beside him.

* * *

Shane’s apartment was small, and Rick’s presence, while initially liked by his closest friend, soon became a hinderance.

Over bowls of cold cereal and strong coffee, the conversation started a small murmur before Shane finally took control.

“So, what are you planning?” He asked. 

“Beg for forgiveness. I miss her. She’s everything I know, and I miss my family.”

"You were so hung up on that damn blonde, you'd lost yourself. You started doing things you'd never do.”

Rick nodded, keeping his head down in shame.

“When was the last time you talked to her?”

He sighed deeply. “The day she wanted me to leave. I’ve sent text messages and flowers, but she hasn’t called.”

“Can you blame her? We’re talking about Lori, man. You were bangin’ that broad hours after you met her.”

Rick dropped his spoon into the bowl and pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb. “I messed up, Shane. I’m scared. I want my family back.”

"You broke her heart and it's goin' to take a lot to fix it. She might not even want to be the one to fix it. You've got to leave her alone and you've just got to be there for your kid, make that _kids_ and you've got to do somethin' about Lori.”

“What can I do?”

Unsympathetic, Shane stood and carried his bowl and mug to the sink, dropping them in with a frustrated sigh. “You guys were so close. We don’t see much of that nowadays.”

“What do I do?” He repeated, his voice raw.

“If you need me to ask for advice, I can’t help you.” He responded, before walking to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him. 


	9. Chapter 9

Rick drove down the familiar road to his son’s school. He noticed Tyrese Williams, the school’s resource officer, in the corner of the playground showing some of the kids how to throw a football. The muscular man jogged over and opened the gate, allowing Rick inside the playground.

“How’s everything going?” He asked with a smile.

“Not too bad, yourself?”

“Pretty close to excellent. Gonna pop the question to my girl this weekend. I know that’s a huge step, but still…”

Rick grimaced. “Congratulations.”

“My buddy cleared it up for me. He told me to think about two things, First, do I love her.”

“And you do.”

“Oh, man…more than you can imagine. The second thing he asked was can you see yourself growing old with anyone else…can you see her growing old with anyone else. It’s that simple.”

“That’s right.” Rick replied, waiting for the conversation to be over. 

“My dad…he was a real good man. He always told me that when I meet the woman I wanna marry, you make her happy and you can get through whatever life throws your way.”

“Officer Williams!” A kid yelled.

Tyreese chuckled and turned his head towards the voice.

“Your crowd awaits. Good luck. A good woman is hard to find.”

“See ya ‘round.”

Rick looked around the playground, he saw his son, sitting by himself rather than playing baseball with his usual group of friends. He slowly walked towards his son and joined him on the bench. It was only when Carl felt the bench move when he looked up and saw his father. 

“Hey, buddy. How you doing? How’s your mom?”

He hesitated at first but seeing how sad and sorry his dad looked, he sits down next to him and they watch the other children playing tag.

"I'm sorry Carl for everything" Rick looked down at his shoes.

"Why don’t you love mom anymore?" Carl asked.

"No. No. Not at all. I love your mom very much. I always have. And I always will. What I did is inexcusable, and I hope one day you'll forgive me. I just need some time to sort some stuff out. I really made a mess of things.”

“If you love mom, why did you sleep with another woman?”

He kicked himself for the deal he made with Lori; always answer their son’s questions openly and honestly. 

“I don’t know. That’s the simple answer. I don’t know why.”

“Duane’s parents are getting divorced. So are Luke’s. Lizzie and Mika too. Their dads left for another woman. Are you and mom gonna get divorced?

“No. Absolutely not. I made a huge mistake, and I hope that your mom forgives me. Has she been getting the flowers?”

Carl chuckled. “The countertops are full. She ran out of vases and had to use the old fishbowl. Why pink roses?”

“Those are her favorite.”

“You’re sending them all? We get like, a ton a day.”

“Yeah, I send a dozen a day. I want her to know that I still love her. I know she needs time, so I haven’t called. But I’m dying to talk to her. I’ll do whatever it takes to be a family again.”

His voice tapered off into a soft whisper, met by silence between the two. 

“She cries a lot. Every night. She keeps the door closed and thinks I can’t hear, but I can. She cries in the morning, too.”

The words cut Rick to the core. He bent forward, his elbows on his knees, and placed his face in his hands.

Carl looked at him warily, until he realized he was crying.

“Dad, don’t cry!”

The young boy stood and tried to wrap his arms around his father, trying to give him the comfort he needed. Rick responded by embracing his son, holding him closely.

“Are you gonna come home?” The boy asked, his face red and wet with tears.

Rick sighed. “You can tell your mom I stopped by. Please tell her I love her. I love you too, buddy. Go on back inside.”

Carl surprised him with another tight hug before he scampered back into the school.

Rick sat still and watched his son as he walked away. At that moment, he was never so determined to make things right. He’d get on his hand and knees and beg for forgiveness, if needed. He wanted his family back.


	10. Chapter 10

Rick lay awake, listening to the old apartment building as it settled in for the night. The clock had ticked off another twenty minutes while he struggled for sleep, watching the colorless light of the streetlamp outside the window creep further over the bedside table and the rug. He rolled away from it, towards the wall and darkness, trying to convince himself that there was nothing to be done now, not tonight.

He threw back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. It wasn't morning yet. There was still time to...to... To do _what_ , exactly, he wondered?

Rick wasn't altogether certain if his count of days was correct anymore, but it mattered little. Each night spent without Lori in his arms was a step further from the life he had once adored. His hand moved to rub his face, trying to wipe away his emotions and the bone deep fatigue. At this rate he wasn't going to make it a week.

* * *

Lori sighed and rolled over, towards the clock glowing a soft green in the full dark of the bedroom. Only 1:30 am. For a moment, she let herself imagine him beside her – how it would feel to turn her head and see him there. But he was gone, and she was alone in a house that has once felt like a cozy refuge, yet for the past week had creaked and whispered.

She laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling. The ceiling fan was humming, keeping a steady click-click rhythm. 

* * *

He walked to the window and watched the rain as it fell, beating against the windowpane of Shane’s spare room. It was dark outside, mimicking the mood he was in. He failed his family. He remembered the words his father said, and how much they stung. Now Carl will be facing a worse situation with a broken home. In truth, he hoped it would never come to that, that somehow, Lori would forgive him. 

He couldn’t be the way his father was. But the past was a memory as dark, deep, and murky as the storm that raged outside. He'd give just about anything to go back to the world he lived in just a little over a year ago – a world in which he had never met Andrea. In all his years of loving her, he had never allowed himself to believe she could ever really be his until the day she married him. Now, those dreams lay shattered, and it was all his fault. 

He picked up his phone and found the website for a local florist, sending two dozen pink roses, Lori’s favorite, for delivery as soon as possible. The attached card would read, “I still love you. Please forgive me”

For as long as he lived, he would never forget the look of pain and anguish on his wife’s face when she heard that he had been with another woman. 

A thousand moments, each bittersweet in the fact that they were from a time that was forever lost to her, ran through her mind as she lay staring up at the ceiling. Memories of nothing more than being together - her rambling on and on, and him content to just listen. He remembered the early years of their marriage – promises of a beautiful life filled with happiness and children and then…he looks down not wanting to watch the descent into the deep hole of regret and emptiness.

* * *

Lori listened to the raindrops as they fell from the eaves outside the window of her darkened room, ticking softly against the gutter. She wished to be one of them - a single drop of rain invisible among the millions, to be swallowed up by the Earth.

She hadn’t slept a wink, not in days, more specifically, since Rick left. She was tired, exhausted to the point of collapse, but sleep still escaped her.

Rick’s betrayal had broken her. She wondered if this is what true depression felt like; to feel so empty, unloved, and cast aside. The weight of her emotions threatened to strangle her. She couldn’t help but think of Rick’s nightly kisses and the way he always held her while she slept, blissfully unaware that his mind was thinking about another woman.

* * *

As the night turned into day, she went through her daily tasks on auto-pilot. She started another load of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, and made breakfast for Carl, who had become quiet and confused over the situation.

Just like his father, he emotionally shut down and was impossible to reach. Lori let him know that she loved him, and when he needed to talk, she was ready.

* * *

The garage door opened, and Lori backed the minivan out slowly, pressed the button to close the door, and backed into the street. Carl stayed quiet, holding his backpack in front of him, and readied himself for another day at school.

Lori glanced back at her home before driving away, taking no notice to the old red Pontiac parked in the street.

* * *

“Park View Elementary.” Michonne wrote down.

“Good to know. We need to get this going.”

The red car sat down the road, knowing they were following a cop’s wife. She would, if she paid attention to Rick’s way of situational awareness, notice the car that was following her. 

“Do you even know what she looks like?” Michonne asked.

“No idea. I never shouldda had my tubes tied. I couldda gotten pregnant with his kid. That would be a sight to see.”

* * *

They followed her to the local Shop and Save, the only grocery store in the town. Michonne undid her seatbelt and was about to open her door before being stopped by Andrea.

“Hang on. Let her go in.”

The blonde watched as the brunette, her hair held back in a lose ponytail, exited the minivan. 

“Shit. Rick didn’t tell me she was pretty.” Andrea mumbled. She watched as Lori walked to the automatic door, grab a cart, and walked in. Andrea snapped out of her trance and told Michonne, “let’s go.”

* * *

Lori had her shopping cart full of the ordinary household needs, milk, chocolate milk for Carl, cereal, peanut butter, bread, and eggs. 

She jumped as another cart crashed into hers, the two women drunkenly laughing.

“Ooops. Sorry.” Michonne slurred. “Do you know where the dog food is?”

Lori smiled politely and replied, “I think it’s a few aisles over.”

She watched the two wander away, unaware of their intentions.

The second time their carts crashed together, Andrea stepped forward and asked, “Alright, I’m lost. Where is the wine?”

Lori again smile politely. “I know where that one is. Number three, next to the produce.”

“Thank you!” She chipped, and the two ambled away.

The third time the carts crashed together, the couple asked for where the frozen food was.

Lori, having pity on the two drunk women, and concern if they were going to drive away, said, “Hi. I’m Lori.” She stepped forward and shook both their hands. “We have a café’ attached to this store. Let’s get you some coffee.”

“Starbucks? Caribou?” Andrea asked.

“No, no. Nothing that fancy. Just a regular café. But I think you really need some coffee.”

The three sat and talked. Andrea, who introduced herself as “Jessie Anderson” and Michonne as “Tara Chambers.” The conversation was light, ranging from the weather to the local sale at Hobby Lobby. 

Lori checked her watch after half an hour passed and used the little rudimentary skills, she had to tell the women that she doubted their ability to drive home.

“Let me call you an Uber.”

* * *

Andrea wasn’t sure what or who she was angrier at. When Rick was in her bed, she pictured him escaping an ugly, vindictive wife. She wasn’t expecting Lori to be beautiful and kind. Lori waited with the two until the Uber arrived, helped them into the car, and slipped Andrea her phone number, telling her to call when everything is better.

* * *

After Lori got home from dropping off Carl from school, she planned on taking a long relaxing bath. Her back hurt, as it usually did during her pregnancy. She started the water, lit a few lavender candles, and began to undress. 

The phone stopped her from getting into the tub.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Lori? It’s Jessie, from the grocery store. I just want to thank you again for helping us. That was really nice. Tara and I would like to take you out to dinner tonight. You name the place, and we’ll be there.”

Lori smiled, finally feeling wanted.

“That’d be great. How about Carol’s Kitchen at six?”

“That sounds wonderful. See you then.”

Lori’s mind was preoccupied with making new friends, friends away from those she had with Rick. She texted Shane and asked, “Hey, can you watch Carl tonight? I’m having a girls night out.”

He replied immediately. “Absolutely! You don’t want Rick over?”

“I’m not ready. Not yet.”

“Understood. What time do you want me there?”

“How about five-thirty?”

“You got it. See you then.”

* * *

“So, tell us about yourself!” Andrea asked, feigning interest.

“Not much to tell. I met my husband in college, we have an eight year old son, and I’m pregnant again.”

“What does your hubby do?”

“He’s a cop.”

“Cool.” Michonne replied.

“What about you two?”

“Well, I’m a secretary at a health care company. Tara over there works in the mailroom. We’re kinda in-between relationships.”

The conversation flowed easily, but Lori was guarded, not revealing too much about herself or her family.

When the bill came she reached for her purse, but Andrea waved her hand away. “You were so nice the other day. This one’s on us.”

* * *

When she returned, she thanked Shane for watching Carl.

“What were their names again?

“Jessie Anderson and Tara Chambers. They seemed nice.”

“I’ll run them through the system.”

“They don’t have any Facebook pages. I checked, but the names didn’t match up to who they were.”

The small talk tapered off. And the two longtime friends stood together, neither daring to tear their eyes away from each other.

She didn’t move when Shane moved closer, saying “it’s almost midnight. I should probably go.”

“Uh-huh.” She responded, her breath hitching.

Lori stood with her back to the door, piercing Shane’s eyes with her own.

She didn’t flinch when Shane moved forward quickly and kissed her, shoving his tongue deeply into her mouth.

“Oh, God.” She whispered.

“I’m sorry, Lori.” He said, taking a step backward.

To his surprise, she reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to her. He pushed against her, his hips flush with her own, his hardness pushing against her.

“I saw you.” She whispered, as he sucked on the soft spot below her ear.

“Hmmm?”

“Last summer, when you fixed the pipe under the kitchen sink. You had those grey shorts on, and one leg bent. I could look up your and see your package. You weren’t wearing underwear. I always thought about you but felt guilty.

“Because of Rick?” He whispered, moving from one side of her neck to the other.

“Yeah. I can’t do this.”

“Tell me to stop. Anytime.”

She didn’t feel her pants unzip but felt three forceful fingers slide into her. Shane knew his way around a woman’s body. She heard the stories and heard that a night with him would be the best sex a woman would ever have.

Her legs began to tremble, her breath hitched, and she let out a small moan. 

“Lori? You want me to stop?”

She thought about Rick’s lies. One full year. One year, compared to one night. She earned this.

Her fingers ran through his hair as she pulled his head closer, deepening their kiss. She had to bite her lip when his fingers stroked her more, and he stood there with a smile, watching what he was doing to her.

“Carl’s asleep?” She asked.

“Yep.”

A fourth finger joined the previous three, as their mouths met again.

“Shane, take me to bed.”

Before she knew it, she was in the bed she once shared with Rick. 

“The bedroom door?”

“I locked it. You’re all mine.” He kissed her deeply and said, “I’ll do all the work.”

He took his time undressing before her. His shirt was the first to go, revealing a strong, muscular physique. He was more muscular than Rick. He undid his jeans and let them fall away, showing nothing underneath.

She couldn’t take her eyes off his cock. He must have been a solid nine inches in length, and she was amazed at his thickness. He rubbed his length several times, keeping himself hard, until he crawled on top of her.

Her took his time undressing her. The shirt first, than the bra. He tugged on her pants. Pulling them off and dropping them on the floor. The only thing left between them was her panties, which he took his time removing.

She laughed, removing the last vestige of anxiety, when he twirled the tiny garment on his finger, launching them across the room and behind her dresser.

She found it easy to keep her legs spread wide as his mouth found the spot he wanted. While one hand moved upwards until it encountered the curve of her breast getting a gasp, his other fingers slipped again into her heat, stroking relentlessly until she put a pillow over her face to muffle her moans. 

He remained at her crotch, his mouth and tongue working to bring her to the precipice of ecstasy. She eventually looked at him, his mouth working its magic and eyes open, staring directly into hers. 

“You ready?” He whispered.

He didn’t need an answer. He slowly inserted himself, holding back a grin when her face contorted in painful pleasure. He started to thrust, easy and gentle at first until they found their rhythm. She grabbed his shoulders and hooked her leg around his waist, moving so she took the top position. She sat back, her crotch flush with his, taking in his full length. The pain of being stretched soon turned to pure decadence. 

Shane looked at her, in his eyes she was still that beautiful college girl he fell in love with so long ago. He helped her hips move, up and down, up and down, crashing onto his hard cock with each move.

Her breasts moved in tandem with her hair as she looked at him, giving him a smirk, he had never seen before. His fingers became lost in the her long, silky hair as he closed his hand to hold the weight of her. Her mouth begged to be kissed, and the thoughts that ran through his mind thousands of times were finally in front of him. Her silky white skin, her mouth, her face, her body was so close to him he was no longer living in a fantasy; she was his reality. He was deep inside of her, her warm walls closing every time she began to shake.

And it was his mission, that night, to fulfill all his dreams he had about her. 

“I’m gonna cum.” He whispered.

Her breaths came in shallow pants, sweat dripping from her forehead and down her back. “Cum in me.” She said urgently. 

His hands gripped her hips, holding her firmly onto himself as he began to lose control. She wasn’t prepared for the sharp, steady stream that came from him. He stayed hard until he was finished, leaving her exhausted.

“Fuck, Shane.” She whispered. 

“I believe you just did.”

They chuckled together, their mouths meeting with purpose.

Silence blanketed the room, the only sound the tick of the nearby clock.

“So, you said you saw me that time? He asked, smirking.”

“Yeah. I saw you and couldn’t believe what I saw. Now I know why you were so popular in college.”

“You ever think of me when you were with Rick?”

“No. Not that. But when I was on my own, yeah.”

“Well, lookie you.” He smiled, as he saw Lori laugh for the first time in what he guessed was a while.

“Well, like I told you…that night at the frat party…I ran to get some beer, but Rick was talking to you first. I lost. The way you looked at him…I knew you’d end up together.”

She became quiet, on the verge of becoming emotional again. “If you were there before he was?”

“Maybe we’d end up together.”

The silence seemed to stretch forever.

“Did you know about the other woman?”

“I caught him the first time. I told him that he was an idiot and he won the lottery with you.”

She was quiet for a few moments, causing Shane to ask, “are you okay?”

They lay face to face, and he saw her expression change from blissful to something he couldn’t recognize. He soon felt her hand on his cock, caressing it until he became hard again.

“The way you caught them…fuck me the way he fucked that bitch. But fuck me harder.”

* * *

They were physically exhausted when early morning sun began to flood through the window. Neither had slept, both wanting more of the other each time they climaxed. 

“Carl will be up soon.” She said, while wrapped in his arms, their legs entwined.

“I understand.” He sighed and kissed her forehead one more time before rolling out of bed and pulling on his clothes.

“Shane, no…wait…”

She watched as he got dressed. First he pulled on his shirt, then socks. He deliberately stood in front of her, naked from the waist down. He whispered, “I understand. Carl needs his dad. Rick has been walking around like a lost puppy. You need to get back together.”

“But...”

His answer was a deep kiss to her mouth, tasting himself, tasting each other.

“I think there will always be a part of me that’s in love with you, Lori. But you need to get Rick back. It’s best for the both of you.”

“What about…?”

“The best sex I’ve ever had. Don’t worry about me. Keep this night in your memory, and I’ll keep it in mine. I’ll never regret it.”

“Neither will I.”

“Okay.” He said, matter-of-factly.

“We’ll always be friends, and I’ll always be here for you, Carl and the baby. But Rick needs to come home. I love you both but seeing him mope around my apartment is driving me crazy.”

“What if he doesn’t want to come home?” She asked, her eyes filling with tears.

“He does.” As he wiped away the tears that ran down her face. “I gotta go before Carl wakes up.”

“Okay.” She said, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Shane didn’t attempt to move, he just stood in front of her, inches away. She glanced at the clock. It was five-fifty. Her eyes wandered back to the man in front of her, and she smiled when she said “we have at least another half hour.”

Her lips parted, and he took just a step forward. He moaned when his fingers swam through her silky hair, pulling her closer, pushing himself deeper. She cupped his balls, massaging them gently. His pace quickened, and so did her hands. Their eyes locked onto each other when he came, spilling himself in the back of her throat.

She swallowed and leaned back, spreading her legs and wanting for him to take over. She was so wet and so ready, her body desperate for more. Unlike how they were hours ago, both feeling the need to satisfy a sexual need, what they saw in each others’ eyes was pure, unbridled lust. 

Their world slowed down, and all that existed was Shane and Lori, and their unquenchable thirst for each other. He pounded into her with all the energy he had, and she bent her legs around his torso until she felt him cum again.

Without wanting to, he rolled over and stood up, leaving Lori satisfied and exhausted. They were quiet when he found his jeans and slid them on.

“So you don’t wear underpants. Good to know.” She joked.

“Want me to show myself out?”

“No, I’ll walk you to the door. I need some panties.”

“Where?”

“Upper right hand drawer.”

He went to the dresser and plucked out a random garment., tossing it to her.

As she slid on her thong, he pulled on his shirt. She didn’t want to think how much of him would seep out, and hated the idea of washing him off the sheets. 

She slipped on the bathrobe she kept on the back of the door and they quietly walked downstairs. He slid on his shoes before they were face to face again, parting with a long, slow kiss.

“Thank you, Shane.”

“I’ll see you around.” He said.

“You bet.” She smiled.

She reluctantly took a hot shower, washing away every trace of Shane. She lost track of how many times he made her cum, by a simple flick of his tongue or curl of his finger. Just the thought of his body covering hers, of his incredibly long length pounding into her, and his cum exploding deep inside her made her blush. She reached down to her crotch, and started to rub herself before inserting a finger, then two, then three. It wasn’t Shane, but she pictured the tip of his cock hitting the back of her throat, and she made herself cum. 

A twinge of guilt started to surface in her conscious.

One-year verses one night.

She wanted her husband back, but she earned the night with Shane.


	11. Chapter 11

At two minutes before four in the morning, when it was no longer night but not quite day, Rick’s sleepy hand reached out to where his wife should have been. In the confusion of the first awakening of the day, his hand was on the plain white wall at Shane’s apartment. 

He dragged his hands wearily through his hair and looked towards the window. His throat felt tighten, thinking about his once happy family.

He wandered into the small bathroom and pulled back the mirror above the sink. Inside, there were two narrow glass shelves. On the top one lay an open box of condoms and a half empty bottle of mouthwash. The second contained a package of disposable razors, a bottle of sleeping pills, and a bottle of aspirin.

He shook two of the sleeping pills into his palm and set the bottle back in its place, then tossed the pills in his mouth before he noticed there was no available cup. Grimacing at the bitter taste of the medicine, he turned on the faucet and drank from his cupped hands instead.

As he shut the mirror, his eyes caught his own reflection and he stopped transfixed at the face of a man he wasn't altogether sure he knew anymore. He frowned at the dark smudges beneath his eyes, an expression that only seemed to make him look worse.

He closed his eyes against the tears, seeing her face and remembering every time she'd been there to comfort him or to watch over him during the last fifteen years. He'd broken her heart - there was no denying it to anyone and least of all himself.

Rick saw his future - desolate and alone, and all the things she'd dreamed of one day having seemed forever out of reach.

* * *

With Shane gone for the evening, and not enough nerve to drive by his home, Rick sat by himself and flipped through the TV channels. The television seemed to mock him. Almost every channel he landed on reminded him of Lori.

The Princess Bride, her favorite movie.

Goodfellas, the movie they’d always watch together, taking turns reciting the lines.

A commercial for Disneyworld, where they went on their honeymoon and a few trips with Carl.

He picked up his phone and debated calling his wife. Just to hear her voice. He had no idea how much he had taken her for granted, when he should have known better. Lori was the type of woman any man would want for a wife. She could sit with the group of guys he always invited over for the Super Bowl, rooting for their chosen team, serving drinks, and laughing at the commercials. When she dressed up for a fancy event, she was breathtaking, almost to the point that he didn’t want to share her with others. She could listen to him when he had a bad day at work, be his shoulder to cry on, and she couldn’t get enough of him in bed.

And yet, it threw it all away.

He lowered his head and began crying again, and walked over to the cabinet near the sink, plucking out a new bottle of Jack Daniels. He unscrewed the cap, stared down at the amber liquid in the bottle. It was his father’s drink of choice. His mind told his legs to stand and walk away, to replace the cap, to go to bed, but at that moment, when he thought about where he was in his life, he moved the bottle his mouth, closed his eyes and didn’t even flinch as it burned his throat. He drank as much as he could before dropping the bottle onto the coffee table. 

And at some point, he fell asleep.

He awoke when he heard Shane come home.

“Hey.”

“Hey, man.” Shane responded.

“You have a good shift? He asked, sitting up from his place on the couch, the bottle half empty, his eyes bloodshot and red rimmed.

“I wasn’t at work. Lori had plans and wanted me to watch Carl.”

“She had a date?”

“No, nothing like that. She made some friends the other day. Female friends, and they went out for dinner.”

Confused, Rick looked at his watch.

“How late was she out? It’s seven-thirty.”

“She came back early. I went out to get a drink and hooked up with some redhead.”

“Why didn’t she want _me_ to go over?”

“Really? You need to ask that? You really hurt her. I shouldda stopped you. She just needs time.”

“How is she? How does she feel? Is the baby okay? She doing alright? Does she look okay?”

Shane sighed. “Rick, she looks as beautiful as ever. She misses you. She needs you, and so does Carl. Give her a few more days, and then go get your girl. I’m gonna go hit the shower.”

* * *

Shane peeled off his clothes and dropped them in the hamper. He hated that he was washing off his encounter with Lori. If he closed his eyes, he could picture her face when he made her cum, over and over. He washed his face, scrubbing away the memory of how delicious she tasted. Reluctantly, he washed his cock, saying goodbye to the night they shared. Snapshots of their time together flashed in his mind. How she took him in her mouth, how delicious she tasted, and how warm was when he was inside her walls. He breathlessly became hard again, and began to stroke himself. When he came again, images of her were planted firmly in his mind.


	12. Chapter 12

Two years ago

“At least the weather is on our side.” Officer Abraham Ford said flatly to his partner, Philip Blake

“The coffee sure isn’t.”

The Beatles “Help!” played softly in the background as the only other sound were the scraping of leaves when the wind picked up.

“Better keep drinking that. It’ll help during the night.”

“Tell me about it.” Phillip chuckled.

“Baby still not sleeping?”

“Oh yeah, he is. Ten minutes at a time.”

The men laughed. 

“I do not miss those days.” Ford recalled. “But I’ll tell ya. Pre-teen girls. I’ve got my shotgun at the ready for the first punk whose gonna try to date one.”

“That I can see. If … and I ever have a daughter. Jesus.”

“You’re still thinking about it after four boys?”

“Maybe one more time.”

As the hour grew late, a familiar form came into sight. A kiwi-green Hyundai Tucson.

Officer Ford picked up the microphone, “unit 3, to eastbound Route 18, two miles west of Interstate 85. 10-91b, 10-23, 10-29f.”

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

The men stepped out of their cars. Both were dressed in blue jeans, Abraham was wearing black tank top, Phillip wore a Green Bay Packers shirt.

The green car parked ten feet away and left their lights on while the engine idled.

“Hey man.” 

“S’up.” The black man replied.

The four exchanged a street form of handshakes before … asked, “You got what we need?”

“Yeah…yeah…yeah… Come take a look.”

Terry seemed agitated when the taller and more muscular man followed him to the trunk. It squealed when it opened, and the interior light showed bricks of white material wrapped in cellophane and held together by duct tape. Ten bricks of cocaine.

“So, um…yeah….do…ah…do we…do we…have a deal?”

“What was it again?” Phillip asked.

“Ten grand.”

“You got it.” The officer paused and reached behind his back to pretend to grab his wallet, but rather, produced his gun.

“Get down, hands at your side. You’re under arrest.”

The next few moments, as Ford and Blake recalled, were a blur. Three other police cars pulled up to support them, lights on and sirens blaring. Neither one recalled who fired the first shot, but dozens of rounds were exchanged. 

When the smoke cleared, the suspects were down and more backup was on its way, Shane Walsh was the officer to inspect the vehicle.

“Oh, shit!” He yelled.

He reached into the backseat of the car and pulled out a lifeless body of a toddler. 

“Put a rush on the EMTs, 10-54. A damn baby!”

He immediately started CRP, joined seconds later by his partner, Rick Grimes. 

“Dammit. Dammit. Dammit!” Shane yelled. “Who brings a baby to a drug deal?”

Rick continued with blowing air into the boy’s mouth, even though he could hear a gurgling sound with each chest compression.

“Shane, stop.” Rick said, defeated.

He continued his compressions, before Rick grabbed his hand and said, “Shane, there’s grey matter all over the place. Stop.”

* * *

After the two officers spoke to their commanding officer, Lieutenant Negan, they were both cleared. 

“It was a good shoot. Two drug dealers are gone.” Negan decided. 

The drive back to the station was spent in silence, neither man talking, neither man having anything to say. Each hit the showers, then dressed for the ride home.

“Lori went to the liquor store today. She stocked up on a bunch of shit. Come over.”

Shane nodded his head and followed Rick’s car with his own.

When the sun rose just a few hours later, Lori found them sitting in the screened-in porch. Shane watched the woman he loved walked over to his friend and kissed him on the forehead. 

“You guys have a good shift?” She asked, her eyes still half closed and her face still puffy with sleep.

She tilted her head to look at him and for a moment he was lost in her hazel eyes, and he understood that he could be himself and finally let his guard down, not hiding behind the façade of a strong police officer. 

Their silence was her answer.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. 

Rick’s body shook with sobs as he cried on her shoulder. Shane tried to hold his own tears in, but when he saw Lori’s slender fingers reach out to him, he moved to sit on the spot closer to Rick and the three grieved together.

* * *

Rick sat with Lori at their kitchen table, the silence overtaking any conversation. Despite the bright sunshine streaming through the window, the mood was somber. The air was thick with the aroma of coffee and bacon, but Rick was just pushing his breakfast around his plate, not wanting to talk. 

Tho telephone rang, shattering the silence. Lori answered, handed it to Rick with concern in her eyes.

“Morning, Lieutenant.” 

“Hey, Rick. How you holdin’ up?”

“Hanging in there.” He said, flatly.

“Alright. I got a call from the Coroner’s office. Just to let you know, the bullet that came out of the baby’s brain came from your gun. I’ll do my best to keep it out of the papers.”

“Okay.” He said, numb.

“This won’t make waves anyway. Two crackheads shot in a drug deal. No big loss, but just prepare yourself in case any of those wingnuts on social media get a hold of it.”

“Okay.”

“Just take your time off. Do the two weeks, and take a few extra days. It’ll be alright.”

“Thanks.”

“Alright. Take care of yourself, Grimes. See you in a few weeks.”

“Okay. Thanks, Lieutenant.”

He placed the phone back on its receiver, then flopped down on the kitchen table. Lori rushed over with a glass of water, offering it to him as he sat unresponsively. 

“It wasn’t your fault, baby. You had no idea there was a child there. You were doing your job.”

Over the next few weeks, Rick mourned the loss of a baby he never knew. He barely slept, despite bone-deep exhaustion. He hardly ate, even though he was hungry. He cried during the night and walked around like a zombie during the day.

It was Lori, who held him after his emotions ranged from rage and throwing a coffee mug against the kitchen wall to being crumpled into a ball, lying in the fetal position, shaking and dry heaving, knowing that the baby died at his hands.


	13. Chapter 13

Long after Carl had gone to bed, Lori sat at her window, looking out over the meticulously cared for back yard. Her plants were in terra-cotta pots that sat on the corner of the deck, and the red Adirondack chairs that sat around the fire pit were empty, lonely for company. The rain kicked up, almost mocking her with the beat of her tears. 

He still loved her.

" _He still loves me...,"_ she whispered, incredulously, into the night.

She remembered Rick’s mother, and how she never gave up, until she had to. Rick was different from his father. She chuckled to herself when she thought about the overflowing kitchen and family room, dozens of pink roses everywhere she looked. She missed waking up in his arms, missed his middle of the night lovemaking, and she even missed the stray wet towel he left on the bathroom floor after his shower. The flowers, what he said to Carl at school, and the genuine remorse she saw in his eyes when he confessed…

" _He loves me...and I love him."_

* * *

She was dressed smartly, in a pair of maternity pants that hugged the small curve in her belly, a red blouse with pink flowers adorned on the sides, and on her ears she wore the earrings that Rick gave her after she gave birth to Carl. She gently sprayed “Moonlight Mist,” the perfume that drove Rick crazy, into her hair and clothing before setting out to get her husband.

She felt her anxiety rise as she walked through the doors of the Kings County police station. Never had she been so totally and thoroughly scared in all her life. 

Her footsteps on the granite floor echoed through the lobby as she nervously killed time by reading the latest postings on the information wall. A grainy photo was posted of a recent shoplifting incident at a mom and pop store, officer Sasha Williams was having a Pampered Chef party the day the receptionist Carol Pelletier held a Mary Kay sale. 

She took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves and made her way to the reception desk.

“Hey, Lori how are you? You look wonderful!” Carol said excitingly.

“Great, and thank you. How are you doing?” She asked her friend, while in the back of her mind she tried to figure out if the woman before her knew about Rick’s affair.

“Same old, same old. Sophia’s starting dance classes and Ed is exactly where I want him. Good and gone!” The grey haired beauty’s laugh echoed through the enclosed area, as Lori tried to put on a police smile.

“Good for you. Is he around?”

“Sure, let me buzz you in.”

Lori walked over to the thick wooden door and waited for the sound that told the world the door was unlocked. She pushed it open just as three officers walked past her, exchanging familiar “hellos.”

Even after nearly two decades with Rick, and ten mostly happy years, she couldn't remember being so nervous, and still had no idea what she planned on saying. She was met by a flurry of activity. Rows of grey metal file cabinets lined the wall, musty brown and white cardboard boxes stood atop black metal desks and piles of paper were everywhere.

The thick smell of coffee hung in the air. Her eyes darted around the room before landing on a familiar figure sitting with his back to her. Raw nerve combined with willpower forced her legs to move forward, and soon her own face came into view as she saw three pictures on Rick’s desk. The first was the three at Carl’s birthday, the second just the two of them at the Grand Canyon, and the third picture was a surprise. It was of her, taken last summer. The framed picture was of her smiling face as she emerged from the swimming pool.

_Maybe he did miss me after all._

Being cautions as to not sneak up on a cop, she walked diagonally to him, catching his eye at the last moment. He was on his feet within seconds and ran to her, stopping short of embracing her tightly, not being assured the embrace would be welcomed.

“Hey. You’re here! You’re beautiful. You look beautiful.” He said aloud, probably louder than he should have.

“It’s good to see you too.” She was taken aback at his appearance. The sparkle in his blue eyes was gone, replaced by bloodshot and red-rimmed orbs. The bags under his eyes made his face look gaunt. “Is there a place we can talk?” She asked.

His face slightly fell before darting to her left hand, being assured that she still wore her wedding ring. His wife was always so open with her emotions, even reaching out to touch his arm for no other reason that he was within reach.

“Sure. Absolutely.” He glanced around and noticed the room in the corner was open and unused at the moment.

He ushered her to the room, saying to anyone in particular, “I’ll be in four. Don’t disturb.”

The door clicked behind him as he led her to a chair. Lori pulled out the chair across from him and sat down, and his eyes shifted up to follow her; the grace of the simple motions, the length of her fingers as they clasped in front of her. They were the movements of life, the things he'd always taken for granted before – things of beauty that now seemed so out of place to him in his world.

Lori welcomed the plush support of the blue swivel chair and let out a small sigh as she got comfortable. He joined her, sitting on the chair next to her. She could tell he was as nervous as she was. He didn’t know if she was there to ask for a divorce or a reconciliation. 

“Have you been getting my flowers? I know you love pink roses.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“So, um…” He faltered.

“Can I just say something?”

“Absolutely.” He acquiesced. 

He watched her body move with her breathing and tried to turn his thoughts back to planning how to get back to his family instead of how incredibly beautiful she looked. Her fingers found a stray paper clip and she began to fiddle with it, undoing it and pushing it into different shapes just to keep her mind busy.

“I felt the baby move this morning.”

Rick smiled. “That’s wonderful.”

She nodded in agreement. “Rick, I was thinking. We’ve been together for fifteen years. Carl is taking this really bad.” Her eyes dripped with tears. “Can you tell me…can you tell me with absolutely certainty that she is the only woman you’ve been with?” The pain and sadness in her tone was laced with anger, and Rick knew it was directed at him.

“Yes.”

“I want the truth.”

“She was. I promise. She was. It’s never happened before, and it never will again. I promise.”

Eyes connected, both swollen with tears.

“I don’t want to lose my family. I don’t want our kids to grow up in a broken home. I need you to promise me, that it will never happen again. Please, I can’t go through this again. You really hurt me.”

“I’m sorry. And I promise, it will never happen again. After the baby is born we can renew our vows, if you want.”

“Is that why you wanted to move away?”

“Yes.”

“To get away from her?”

“Yes.”

She sighed in relief. “You wanted to move away to get away from her.” She repeated.

“Yes I did. I wanted to get as far away from her as I could. From a mistake that never should have happened.”

She was silent, focused on fiddling with the paperclip. “You really need to understand how much you hurt me.”

Rick remained quiet, his face now steeped in shadows, unreadable and unreachable. When at last he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”

She tapped her fingers on the table, her eyes darted around the room.

“It was one year?”

“Yes.”

“Did you love her?”

“No. Never.”

“Did you ever talk about me when your we in bed with her? About us or our marriage?”

“No.”

“Would you be open to counseling down the road, if I need to work through this?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back. And to keep you. I’ll do whatever you want. “Lori, having you around was always more important to me than you knew. This time apart made me realize exactly how much I love you. I know I made a terrible mistake, and I’m not winning any husband of the year awards, but I’m sorry. And all I’ve wanted ever since I left the house that day was for you to let me come home again.”

"I could live the rest of my life and never get tired of hearing that. You’ve always make me feel like I'm something special."

"You _are_ special, Lori. You've got a heart of gold. More than anybody I've ever known."

“I know it wasn’t you. It was your dad. He was a bad influence, and he messed with your head.”

"I guess no matter how far away I run, there are some things about me that will always be a part of him..."

She inhaled sharply and started, “Rick, please, please, please, don’t ever do it again. But I still love you, and I want our family back. Please come home.”

The dam holding Rick’s emotions slowly crumbled, and an ocean of tears were freed from his eyes.

He leaned forward and took her in his arms. She was hesitant at first, wrapping her arms around him but draping them loosely around his waist. The longer and tighter he held her, and the more memories of their happier days came flooding back. His guilt and shame overtook him, and he started sobbing.

She rubbed his back in comfort while shedding her own tears.

"Lori," he whispered, his breaths ragged and uneven, "Lori...I'm sorry. “I love you so much. I always have. And I always will.”

Lori took his hands in hers and looked into his eyes. She said nothing for a long time, but stood watching him, her heart full of love for the man in front of her. He wished there was some way he could fix what was broken between them, once and for all - not only because he felt he owed it to her, but because he loved him more than life itself. 

More importantly, if something happened to him, he would want her to know that she had truly been his - heart, mind, body, and soul forever.


	14. Chapter 14

Andrea took a long sip from her coffee, deliberately making Lori wait for her to continue.

“I’ve had so many lovers I’ve actually lost count. My last one…he was something else. He wasn’t blessed physically...if you know what I mean. But he made up for it in other ways. He loved eating my out. He could do that all day long. Once he DID do that, almost all day long.” She chuckled.

“He was into kinky stuff. Chocolate sauce, baby oil on everything. And he liked it rough. He’d always bend me over and go in from behind. Well, that’s my favorite position anyway, you know what I mean, right?”

“So, anyway…” Lori started, desperate to change the subject.

“The one thing he loved was head. That’s almost all I did was give him head. I could fit all of him on my mouth and still had room for his balls.” She chuckled, her eyes watching the woman next to her. Lori began to squirm at the conversation; too much information from a woman she hardly knew.

“One more thing, about my lover. He liked it a lot. And I mean a lot. We’d meet almost every day, and during that time… we did everything…everything…he was good. And he always came. In my throat, my pussy, my hand…always. I could always make him cum. The thing I loved about it was it was almost every day. Almost every day for over a year. I loved the feeling of him being naked and sweaty on top of me. Have you ever done sixty-nine? Ohhhh…he was so good at that.”

Lori looked at her hot tea, wishing she didn’t accept Andrea’s attention for coffee. “ _I could be home right now, curled up on the couch taking a nap_ ” Lori didn’t even try to hide her annoyance when she asked, in a shaky voice….so, why did you two split?”

“He also loved different positions and different places.” Andrea continued, loving the fact that she was teasing the woman next to her. “Remember the movie Fatal Attraction? Yup, we did it on the sink. Other places too. The shower, of course the couch, the kitchen table, against the wall…he loved it against the wall. God, what else…the floor, on my patio – he loved that because there was a risk that we could be caught. Every. Day. Do you know what a lover like that is?”

Lori shook her head no, giving up hope for any sort of a civilized conversation. She took a deep breath and looked up at the sun, happy that the café’s patio was empty.

“He was intense. Too bad his dick was too short, but he was so, so, good. And I mean it when I said every day... Every day for over a year. Even when I was on the rag he still stopped by for a blowjob. I want you to know that.”

“Why?”

Crossing and uncrossing her legs seductively, and not even trying to hide the smirk that stretched across her face, she took another long sip of her coffee.

“The reason I’m telling you this, Lori, is because I want you to think about what I said. What he and I did, and how often we did it. So, tell me, sweetie, did Rick ever call out my name when he cums in you? Because he never called out your name when he came in me.”

* * *

Donna, the owners of Billy and Ben’s Café’, was sitting with Lori in one corner of the restaurant. The older woman was rubbing her back and trying to keep her calm, reminding her that she needed to think about the baby.

Allen, Donna’s husband, was standing at the other side of the restaurant, his arms folded across his chest and staring at Andrea, who was holding an ice pack against her cheek. Her face was bloody and spots of blood, mixed with hot tea, stained her shirt.

In the distance different sirens wailed, Lori recognized one as an ambulance and the other a police car. She didn’t want to see Rick. She couldn’t’ face him after hearing the details. 

She shook her head in disgust when Rick got out of his cruiser. Once he saw the condition of his wife, he ran over to her, placing his hands against her face, on her arms, checking for any injuries. She turned her head when another cruiser pulled up and Shane hopped out.

“Are you hurt? Baby, what happened?”

She pushed him away. Yelling “get away from me!”

Andrea strolled over. Her plan had worked out exactly how she wanted it.

“Hello Rick. I was just telling your cute little wife all about us. She got her feeling hurt and hit me. I want her arrested.”

“You said your name was Jessie. You lied to me. You made me think we were friends.”

Andrea chuckled. “You’re delusional. I never said anything like that. Walking over to Rick, but her eyes locked on Lori, she purred, “I just told her the truth. About everything. Now, every time she goes to your little grocery store, she’ll think of me when she buys chocolate sauce or baby oil. Remember those times?”

* * *

Lori was cleared from the paramedics and opted to ride home in Shane’s cruiser while Rick followed behind them.

“Are we being recorded?” she asked.

Shane glanced at her before flipping a switch on the dashboard and on his body camera.

“Not anymore.”

“Maybe we should ‘of ended up together. I’m just disgusted.”

“Sorry, Lori.

“Have you been with anyone else since the night we were together? Never mind…that’s not my business.”

“It’s alright. And no, I haven’t.”

“Just take me to your place. I wanna sleep with you tonight.”

“Lori, you’re not thinking straight. You’re letting your emotions get the best of you.”

“She told me everything they did together. She lied to me. Rick lied to me.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“Did he tell you what he did with her?”

“He tried to, but I stopped him. I didn’t want to hear it.”

She continued to dab her eyes with a tissue. Then a wave of anger hit her, and she reached over to Shane’s crotch, and she began to rub.

She felt him grow hard at her touch.

“I want you inside me.” She whispered.

“Ahhh…. God. Lori…you’re gonna make me drive off the road.”

“I’m getting a belly, but I can still hop on your lap. I want you, Shane.”

He was fully erect, and beads of sweat started to form on his forehead.

She used her other hand to lower his zipper and smiled when his large erection sprung free. She continued to caress him, her slender fingers running up and down his shaft.

“I’m gonna make a mess here soon.”

She tried to shift in her seat to take him in her mouth when he stopped her.

“Lori, Rick is right behind us. We’re almost to your house anyway.”

Defeated, Lori took her time tucking Shane back into his uniform.

“It’ll get better.” He said, reaching over and holding her hand.

* * *

Rick put on a happy face for Carl and told him that his mother was asleep to avoid an awkward conversation. He told him that Duane and his mother were waiting for him with a pizza.

The two sat at different ends of the sofa when Lieutenant Negan and Detectives Horvath and Stokes sat across from them, asking for the details about Lori’s confrontation with Andrea.

“We know you were involved wither. When was the last time you had any contact?”

“A couple months ago.”

“And when was the last time you had sex with Miss Harrison?” Asked Detective Horvath, who gave him a revolted glance and was clearly disgusted with the situation.

“It’s been a couple months.” Rick said.

“Who ended it?”

“I did.”

“Why?”

Rick silent for a long time, before adding, “I told Lori about it.”

He looked in her direction, but she was sitting alone, hugging the blue and white throw pillow and staring at the snow globe of the Boston skyline; a trinket Rick bought for her when the traveled to Beantown to see the Braves play the Red Sox.

“Okay, when did it start?”

“Over a year ago.”

“Can you gimmie a better time frame?”

“Whatever day it was she walked into the place.”

“The records show that was twenty months ago.”

Rick nodded in agreement, not wanting to add too much to the conversation.

“When was the first time you had sex with her?”

“That same day.”

“Do you have any idea why she wanted to start trouble with your wife?”

“It was that drug deal with Blake and Ford. They had a baby in the back seat, and it was my gun that killed him. I had no idea the baby was there.” He thought of the flash drive, showing the lunch. “Hang on.” He jumped out of his seat and went to the home office, retrieving the flash drive of the ill-fated meeting.

When Rick left the room Detective Stokes walked over to Lori, crouched down and asked, “How are you, Lori?”

Her mouth was dry, and she had a million different words she wanted to say in response, but none of them would form. Instead she continued to stare back into the snow globe, focusing on the Green Monster of Fenway Park.

“They’re trying to make me resign or blackmail me.”

“Okay. Well, it sounds like Miss Harrison was trying to provoke your wife. I doubt you have anything to worry about. She’ll try to press charges, but they won’t stick.” Horvath reassured.

“Let me see the flash drive.” Negan asked.

Rick handed it over, and the three lawmen said goodnight.

He kept his eye on his wife as he headed to the seat next to her, but before he got too close, she left the sofa and ran upstairs, and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

She reached the toilet and lifted the lid just in time for the vomit to expel from her mouth, almost violently. She dropped to her knees on the cold tile and heaved, feeling all the contents of her stomach leaving her body. Her eyes watered and her throat burned, momentarily distracting her from anything else she’d been feeling.

After splashing her face with cold water and brushing her teeth, she walked downstairs and without a word, grabbed her purse, cellphone and keys, and left the house.

* * *

“I know I’m emotional, and my feelings are all over the place. I’m hurt and angry. I thought things would get better but hearing what that woman said just opened all those old wounds. I can’t get those thought out of my head. But I know what I want, Shane, and right now I want you to fuck me. Just like you did a few weeks ago.”

His mind tried basic reason, but his body betrayed any logical thought. 

“Lori, no. I can’t do this, I don’t want to take advantage…”

“You won’t be. I want this.”

Shane’s phone rang, interrupting the awkward silence.

“Hey, man.” He said. “Lori’s not home?”

He had his face turned and didn’t notice she had stripped down to just her panties. When he looked back at her he was at a loss for words.

“Shane?” Rick asked, his voice in a panic.

“I haven’t seen her. Yea, I’ll let you know.”

As soon as he hung up, he took her in his arms and his mouth traced her ivory skin from her collarbone to her breasts. She caught her breath at the sensations she felt at his hand, and he only smiled.

His mouth brushed lazily over hers, parting her lips, teasing, tasting. His eyes on her gave her the purest thrill she had ever known. She knew he wanted her, just as much as she wanted him. Her nipples grew hard and begged for his touch.

He walked her backward to his couch, shedding his shirt on the way. As she sat back on the couch he knelt between her legs, his pulse running through his veins and pounding in his ears. He gently but forcefully removed her panties. Placing his hands on her thighs, he spread them apart and ran his tongue slowly around her folds. She cooed with pleasure as he pushed his finger slowly in and out of her warmth. Her hips rolled slightly, as if she was trying to take more inside her. She shook as he slipped a second, and then a third, eliciting soft moans from her throat. When he moved his fingers just the way she like and used his thumb to caress her clit, she tipped her head back as her orgasm took over. He slipped his fingers free and moved his mouth to her hot treasure. The scent of her pussy was driving him mad with lust. His tongue slipped through her moist pink folds, causing her to gasp. He loved how she tasted and smelled…like pure heaven. 

He felt her nails bit into him and heard her moans grow, felt her body felt tense to the erotic pain. He lifted his head and looked at her, her face was flushed and sweaty. Her hand gripped onto his hair, holding him right where she needed him to be. He continued his assault on her warmth as his hands snaked up her body and played with her breasts, and he chuckled when she tried to find her footing on the edge of the couch before setting her ankles on his shoulders.

Not being able to hold back anymore, he stood and unzipped his pants, setting his erection free. He needed to be inside her just as badly as she needed him. He easily slid into her and began to thrust as she continued to come down from another orgasm. In one move, he held onto her ass and raised her up, then sat back down, still inside of her. She slowly but forcefully slid down upon him. With each and every thrust he made into her body; animalistic sounds came deep from inside of him. 

The internal fire they both felt that night was reignited. She remained still for a moment, reliving the glorious agony of being stretched by a cock that was much bigger than what she was used to, and Shane reveled in how he was again tightly inside the woman he had to secretly love for years.

It was just like the first time they were together just weeks ago. She was eager and happily faced what lay ahead. 

Slowly she began to move her hips, assisted by his hands, up and down until they found their rhythm. Their mouths met hungrily, and he held her throat as she came closer and closer to her orgasm. He licked and sucked on her hard nipples, watching as she loved the different sensations. He knew exactly how to push her over the brink.

“Cum for me, baby.” He whispered, urgently. 

He held her hips flush to his and thrusted up in a frantic rhythm. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as she began to feel the most incredible sensation. His legs moved faster, his breaths came out in gasps, and she knew he was on the verge of cumming hard. 

Her phone rang again, and they looked at each other, their stolen moment ruined.

“Shit. I can’t do this, Lori.”

She sank down on him, taking in his full length and determined to keep him inside her.

“No, Shane, I need to feel this. I need you.”

“No, you don’t. We can’t. We have to stop. Rick’s as asshole, but he’s still your husband.”

“No, just cum. Just one more time. I need to feel it. I need to feel you. I need to feel _something_.” She began to sob, and he rubbed her back and ran his finger through her hair. Their naked bodies, slick with each other’s sweat, clung together, not wanting to move apart. He held her tightly, absorbing her sobs, and she audibly protested when he pulled himself out.

“I’m sorry. Lori, but I do know that Rick is sorry for what he did. He was a mess when he was here.”

She agreed, removing herself from his lap and began to get dressed. They found their clothes and dressed in awkward silence. 

“I can’t look at him. Right now, I can’t look at him. She told me everything they did together. Thing he never did with me. When he left the house did, he have any contact with her?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

Her phone rang again.

On the verge of tears, Shane muttered, “This is killing me, Lori. I love you. I have since I saw you n college. I hate Rick for hurting you. I wanna kill that damn blonde for hurting you. But you need to be with your family. Rick just came home. Think about Carl and the baby.”

She nodded in agreement before disappearing into the bathroom to freshen up and splash cold water on her face. When she came back to the living room, Shane was fully dressed.

“I want a year.”

He looked at her quizzically.

“I want a year with you. I’ve got five more months until the baby is born. I’ll hit the gym to get back into shape. But I want to be with you for a year. I want you inside me every day. I want to feel you in my mouth every day. I want you to make me cum every day.”

“C’mere.” He said calmly. He enveloped her in his arms, inhaling the sweet smell of her shampoo. 

“I don’t think I love him anymore. Not with what he did.”

“Look, it’s just because of what Andrea said. She’s an idiot. You can’t let her or Rick ruin you like this. I’ll always love you, Lori. And I wouldn’t trade what we did for anything. but you need to work things out with Rick.”

“C’mon. I’ll walk you out to your car.”

The sky darkened outside, and the sun slowly sunk behind the horizon. They stood at her car, eyes burning into each other. Lori stepped forward for another kiss, but Shane stopped and kissed her gently on the forehead.

She nodded, accepting reality.

“Get home safely.”

* * *

It was late when Lori pulled into the garage. She got out of the car and walked over to the door before Rick ripped it open.

“Where the hell were you?

She walked past him, not saying a word. She was determined to get to the shower, to wash away her sweat, but she didn’t want to wash away Shane’s touch or the way he tasted.

“Dammit, Lori!” He yelled, grabbing her arm and spinning her around.

“You don’t get to ask me that.” She spat. “You don’t get to ask me what I do.” She poked her finger in his face. She fought the urge to slap him the way she did when he confessed, but let her hand stay at her side. She was on the third step when she heard his voice, defeated and sullen.

“Lori, please…”

She turned to look at him. The roles were reversed. In her mind she was dying to say that she fucked Shane. She fucked Shane in the bed Rick slept in. She lay blissfully on their sheets while Shane couldn’t stop bringing her to orgasm again and again with his tongue. She wanted to tell him that she felt Shane cum deep inside of her and down her throat. She wanted to yell that just half an hour earlier, Shane’s cock was firmly inside of her. 

But when she looked at his teary eyes, how overwhelmed he looked, her need for vengeance turned to pity.

“I’ll never be able to say I’m sorry enough. What she said to you was uncalled for.”

“But it happened? Almost every day?”

He lowered his gaze and nodded.

They stood, facing each other, the quiet of the house almost smothering them.

“I called a marriage counselor. It’s just one I found online, but I want to start fresh. I want to forget everything that happened and get back to you and me. The way it should be.”

She wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes, he slowly approached her. 

“I’ll never be able to erase my mistake. I don’t know why I did it or why it happened. But I want to be your husband again. I miss us. I miss coming home to you every day, and the two kisses you gave me every morning. We have a baby on the way. We can be a family again…I’ll do whatever it takes. Please, let me be your husband again.”

It was the first time since she went to the police station that she truly looked at him. He had dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes, and she could tell he had been crying. She tearfully nodded, as they folded themselves I each other’s arms.

“I’m so, so, sorry, Lori. I’m sorry. You’re amazing, and I don’t want to give up on us.”

“Neither do I.” She whispered. Her lower lip trembled, and she was left speechless.

Their embrace seemed to last forever, just what they needed. When they parted with a kiss, she cupped his face in her hands and whispered, “let’s go to bed.”

* * *

While Rick and Lori were reclaiming their marriage, Shane walked back into his apartment, dug through the second drawer on his dresser, and retrieved one of his burner phones, which he kept just for emergencies. He spent half an hour driving down the road, on a mission to make things right. His black jeep bounced on the pavement as he turned from River Street onto Madison street, the seediest and crime ridden part of town. Her removed the phone from his pocket and punched in the number he knew all too well.

“Yeah.” The voice rasped on the other end.

“It’s me. Meet me behind Gino’s in twenty.”

He looked around him, making sure nobody had followed him, and turned right into a dilapidated strip mall. He knew the area would never be surveilled…who would care? 

“Right on time.” He said to himself, as an old blue Chevy pulled into the area, flashing its headlights to indicate its arrival.

“Hey.” Tomas said.

“Need a favor.” Shane asked.

* * *

Two mornings later, the three Grimes sat at the breakfast table, enjoying each other’s company. Lori was up before the others, making pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and hash browns. She made fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee.

“Can we go out and play catch? I wanna do little league this summer.” Carl asked.

“I don’t know, buddy. We had a big storm last night. We’d get all muddy.”

Moments passed before Carl asked what the question that weighed on his mind.

“Dad, are you back? For good?”

He and Lori shared a smile as he reached over and tousled his son’s hair.

“I’m back, buddy.”

“Are you two gonna stay married? No divorce?”

“No, sweetie.” Lori leaned forward. “We’re okay. We’re not getting divorced. You don’t have to worry about that.”

The boy smiled widely and sat back in his chair, with an exaggerated “phew” as he wiped his hand across his forehead.

“So tomorrow we find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.” Lori smiled.

“Do you hope it’s a boy or girl?” Carl asked.

“Just a healthy baby. That’s all that matters.”

“And if we have another boy, mom will be queen of the castle. Another girl, we need to show her how to throw a punch as soon as she can walk.”

* * *

After breakfast, Rick offered to clean the dishes while Lori rested on the sofa. She picked up the remote and turned on the news. 

The anchors spoked about the Atlanta Brave’s spring training before they turned serious.

“Still no leads on the murder of a local woman. Andrea Harrison, a disgraced former attorney, was found murdered in the parking lot of Niemen Marcus last night. Police aren’t releasing any details, but say they aren’t hopeful since last night’s rain may have washed away evidence.”

Her hands fumbled as she muted the TV and used the TiVo feature to rewind the story.

“Honey!”

Rick jogged in from the kitchen, and Lori almost shouted, “look!”

She couldn’t help but smile as the corners of his lips turned up into a grin.

“It’s all over.” He said, relieved.


	15. Chapter 15

The Day Before

Michonne was asleep in Andrea’s guest room, trying to remain snoozing so she wouldn’t have to face the hangover that was waiting for her. 

_“Wake up.”_

She shifted In bed, grabbing the spare pillow and covering her ears.

_“Don’t ignore me. You’re not doing anything.”_

“I am doing something.” she whispered, through gritted teeth.

_“And what exactly have you done? Had lunch? That’s it?”_

Silence.

_“You’re still a bitch. You haven’t done anything. You stay in damn apartment and drink all day long. Andre doesn’t even have a headstone.”_

“Please go away.”

_“Are you listening to me? You selfish little bitch!”_

Michonne threw the covers off her legs and hopped out of bed, her chest heaving and her fists balled up. She had nobody to swing at…

…nothing.

* * *

As she drove down the road, heading towards the Grimes house, Michonne’s stomach twisted and turned. She tried to ignore the incessant nagging that came from the seat next to her.

_“Are you gonna shoot her in the belly? Kill the baby and her at the same time?”_

She paid no attention. She fought off a wave of nausea and her mind was racing, filtering a million different thoughts and scenarios to bring down the sheriff. 

She wished she didn’t get involved with Andrea. If she didn’t, and with the knowledge that Rick was so open to another woman, she could meet him in a bar and go through the casual hookup just to make her own plans to make him suffer.

_“Nothing is gonna happen, you could never do anything right.”_

Andrea had almost every crucial bit of information that the media would love to bring down Rick. He would have to resign. 

Michonne’s phone binged, a new message.

“I’m at home. We have GOT to get this plan going.”

She sighed before replying to Andrea, “I’m almost at their house. Just wait…” she felt a small thud and heard some children scream.

She immediately ran out of the car and over to the boy, whom she had only seen in the pictures Andrea took off Rick’s phone, and tried to offer words of comfort. “Honey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, let me take you home.”

She noticed his bicycle was under her front bumper. Her mind was began racing and she had a million more questions than she’d had just minutes ago. But she remained resilient, eyes darting back-and-forth between the other children as she began to drag Carl to her car. 

“Hey...hey...I’m so sorry, honey. Are you okay?”

“What’s wrong with you, lady?” One of the kids asked.

Ignoring the girl, Michonne turned her attention back to the boy. “You’re okay. I just nudged your bike. I’ll take you home. I’ve got milk and cookies. Milk and cookies will make it all better.”

A booming voice stopped her in her tracks. “Let him go!” She looked up and saw a man with a shotgun. “I’ve got the cops coming. Enid…run and get Missus Grimes.”

Michonne was too scared to let the man see her face. She let the boy fall out of her arms and ran back to the vehicle, closing the door and switching gears to reverse to get away. She desperately wished she never drove down that damn street.

* * *

Siddiq yelled for his wife, Rosita, to come out and take the gun while he ran over to Carl.

“Stay still, buddy. Help is on the way.”

The doctor did s cursory checkup. “I think you just got the wind knocked out of you.” He looked at one of the other kids. “Ron, what happened?”

“The car just bumped his bike.”

Carl’s eyes were open, and he was looking around, confused.

“My leg hurts.”

Siddiq looked up when he heard urgent footsteps running towards them. Rick had a pair of jeans and sneakers on, but no shirt.

“Anyone get a plate?”

“A what?” Ron asked.

“Did anyone see the license plate?”

The kids looked at each other, but nobody could come up with an answer.

“It was an old red Pontiac.” Siddiq told him.

“Get a look at the driver?”

“Yeah, a black woman with dreadlocks. I didn’t see her face.”

“Dad?” Carl asked.

“I’m right here, buddy.”

“Where’s mom?”

“She’s on her way, bud. She’s getting dressed.”

 _Black woman, dreadlocks._ Rick knew exactly who they were looking for. He fought not to let his hands visibly shake when Carl moaned in pain, and he clenched his fists to remain calm. He stopped himself from entertaining any thoughts that ran through his head. He ame across situations like this all the time on the job. The bad thoughts he tried to keep at bay always took him down the same dark path of horrendous scenarios that sent dread racing through his veins until his chest was tight and his breath was short.

“Carl! Oh my God!” Lori screamed, before she started to trot down the road.

Siddiq grabbed onto Rick’s arm, “He’s stable. Probably a simple concussion. Don’t let her run, it’s not good for the baby.”

Rick nodded and stood, darting towards his wife and forcing her to calmly walk. She looked more defeated than he’d ever seen her.

The sight made her sick to her stomach. Seeing her little boy crumbled… ruined …on the ground,

He was… _broken_.

* * *

She had to get away, far away. And fast. But she couldn’t risk letting her impatience get her caught. She continued taking backroads, avoiding Main Street now that she knew for a fact that police were on the lookout for her car, she had to be extra cautious.

_“Call Terry’s crew. They’ll hook you up with some new wheels.”_

* * *

She pulled onto a side street and pressed the brake pedal, slowing until she came to a complete stop. She sighed with dread and tried to stop her hands from shaking when she turned the engine off, unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. She looked at the front passenger side, and saw the smashed headlight. She knew she had to ditch the car.

_“I told you, call Terry’s guys. They’ll hook you up.”_

Out of pure frustration she raised her gun and pointed it directly in Mike’s face. Her hand trembled. There was no one around to see her, and no cars passing by, and no witnesses.

She jumped back in the car and grabbed her purse and handgun, then called Andrea.

“Come get me now. I’ll be at Olivia’s diner in half an hour.”

* * *

As soon as the two returned to Andrea’s apartment, Michonne headed directly to the liquor cabinet. Searching for what she needed, she picked up the bottle of vodka and took a swig from the bottle before she found a glass and dropped in a few ice cubes.

“Better watch it with that shit.” Andrea warned.

Michonne glared at her with a scowl, silencing her friend.

“Did you kill him?” The blonde asked.

Michonne’s answer was a quiet shrug then plopped down on the couch.

Palpable tension hung in the air. Michonne reached for the remote control and switched the TV on, but out of the corner of her eye she could see Andrea nervously rubbing her forehead. She glanced at her but didn’t say anything, so they watched the TV in silence.

“Michonne, listen. I’m been trying to get that asshole’s trust. The plan was to have him come over here, we drug him, and then we force a confession out of him. But he broke it off with me that day, all because of the bitch of the wife of his. The other day, I made her squirm at a podunk café, hoping that she would kick him out and he’d come back to me. But you should have seen the way he looked at me…like he hated me or something. We talked about the kid. You know that a cop’s kid is a high value target. The plan was to get him and hold him ransom. We make both Rick and the other guy resign. I was ready to send one of his ears to the mother to make them pay. Now they know the kind of car to look for.”

“I dumped it.” She snapped.

“Alright. Did anyone get a look at you? Did they see your face?”

Another wordless shrug and a gulp of the vodka. The silence that hung over them was tense and full of unspoken hostility.

Andrea froze and ran into her bedroom. She grabbed a suitcase from under her bed and began to throw in and clothes, shoes.

Michonne stood in the doorway watching her friend. “The hell you doin?”

“If anyone saw you, and they know we’re together, they’ll come knocking down the door. I am not going to jail for what you did. Our goal was for Rick to go to jail. We gotta get going.”

Michonne followed suit, collecting the few possessions she had with her before meeting Andrea at the front door of the flat.

“I have a plan. Rick knows what my car looks like. We get outta here and I have a few connections. We’ll have a new car, cash and passports by tomorrow morning.”

“What kind of connections?”

“The kind any married man in this damn county would want to hide. First, we go to Niemen’s.”


	16. Chapter 16

“So, how’s Carl doing, man?” Shane asked, as he sat in the patrol car’s passenger seat, next to his partner, Rick Grimes.

“He’s doin’ alright. Real good. The bruises are healing. No lingering damage from the concussion. Having a doctor for a neighbor is a big help.”

Shane waited for the chuckling to die down before asking the next question.

“So, how about Lori? How’s she?”

“Real good. It’s like…almost like we’re newlyweds again. I guess it took almost losing her to find out what she really means to me. You shouldda knocked me out when I was acting stupid. Even you and me…we’re a good team, but I made you go solo. But what I did to Lori…my God…she forgave me, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself.”

Shane gave him a halfhearted smile. “It’s good you’re back together. You were miserable. To forgive yourself…it’ll take time. But you were pretty bad. I’ve never seen you like that.”

“Indeed, I was.” He replied. “We’re good now. And with a daughter on the way…” Rick paused, overwhelmed with emotion. “A while ago you wouldda thought I was the worst son of a bitch you’d ever meet. And I was. But everything’s different. Everything’s good now.”

“Horvath stopped me in the hallway the other day. No leads in the case with you-know-who. With all the rain…it washed away all the evidence. It’s gonna be a cold case. Turned out she burned every bridge she ever crossed.”

Rick was quiet for a moment, just thinking, before he said aloud, “Good.”

* * *

Michonne was sleeping on spare bedroom’s hardwood floor. She was tired. Physically exhausted and mentally strained. When she saw the man approach Andrea and grab her hair pulling it back and swiping the knife from ear to ear, she ran. After taking cover behind a nearby dumpster until the coast was clear, she approached her former friend. There was no doubt she was gone. The pouring rain mixed with gushing blood, causing a sickly river to flow towards the drainpipe.

She popped the trunk and took Andrea’s luggage, and then cleared out her wallet of all the cash the woman had. Michonne shook her head at Andrea’s stupidity when she found the barely hidden note that had the pin numbers for all of her credit cards.

“Good to know.” She thought, for later.

She hailed a taxi back to the apartment and filled up three suitcases of designer handbags, which could be sold for cash. Knowing her time was limited before the police arrived, she ran through the flat, grabbing the bottles of booze and expensive knick knacks. She used Andrea’s house phone to call an old friend, demanded to be picked up.

Michonne, Big Tiny, Oscar and Andrew took turns going to different ATMs, taking out as much cash as they could.

When they settled back at Tiny’s house, a trailer on the outskirts of town, they went through their treasures. Over ten thousand dollars in cash. Close to one hundred pieces of expensive jewelry. Two dozen handbags; Coach, Prada, Marc Jacobs, Kate Spade, and three Hermes bags.

* * *

Shane drove Rick to a place the former often frequented. 

“You sure you wanna do this?” The raven-haired officer asked.

“Absolutely. More than anything.”

“You have a design in mind? What you want it to say?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Shane sat on the metal folding chairs in the waiting area. His mind took him back to the nights he shared with Lori. The first time was gentle and tender, the second time that same night was rough and carefree.

But that night she came to his apartment, he wanted to have her stay forever. The phone call kept ruining their moment, but the only sensation he remembered was how she felt, warm and tight, around his cock. How sweet she tasted, how her nipples reacted to his gentle biting and licking. He remembered the sound of her moaning, how easily he brought her to orgasm, and how her tongue tasted when they kissed.

She was everything he ever wanted in a woman. Although he was happy Rick was home, and the Grimes family was complete, each time he went over for dinner or a casual hangout, the only thing he thought of getting Lori alone.

* * *

Rick pulled into the garage of his home, happy to be back to normal. Or, the new normal. His smile reached his eyes when he saw his wife, Lori, meet him at the door with a warm kiss and a “how was your day?”

“Fine, the usual.” He responded

“Hey bud.” He said, as Carl came over and hugged him from the waist. Rick was taken aback by the sudden show of emotion from his son, who usually settled for a fist bump.

Lori, standing feet away and smiling as she saw the interaction between her two boys, moved in to get her embrace.

“I love you.” Rick whispered, as his hands stopped at her waist, pulling her closer.

“I love you too.” She replied. As their mouths met for a long, lingering kiss.

“Someone’s kicking me.” Rick joked. “My baby girl is kicking me.”

Lori chuckled. “She probably heard your voice. She can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see her.” 

Lori tried to step back to finish dinner, but Rick held her right where she was.

“I want to get kicked some more.”

* * *

Lori arranged the pillows around her swollen belly, waiting for Rick to join her in bed. When she heard the water stop and the shower curtain pull back, she quickly smoothed her hair to make sure she looked her best.

Rick came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and holding another towel at his chest.

“Hey, there’s something on my chest…I want to get your opinion on it.”

“Everything okay? You hurt yourself?”

“No, nothing like that. Here, take a look…”

Rick removed the towel to remove a red heart with the words “My Lori” filling the center.

“You got a tattoo?” she asked.

“I sure did. You’re a part of me, and you’ll always be a part of me.”

Lori watched his eyes shift from hers downward and felt his arms pull her closer. She could feel his heart race beneath her fingers. She thought back to that day in college, when he had shown her how he felt without hesitation. She wanted to feel that passion again, to feel his mouth on hers, his hands on her. This wanting was deep and true, almost painful, an aching longing inside of her soul.

* * *

Michonne found herself walking down the road where the Grimes home rested. Months had passed since the incident with Carl. The red Pontiac was found and confiscated by the police. Her fingerprints were all over it. They were all over Andrea’s apartment, which was under surveillance for weeks after her body was found, but after she and Terry’s friends took what the needed, they had no more use for it.

It was past midnight, and she felt comfortable under the cover of darkness. The late fall night was cooler, and the breeze picked up, scattering the fallen oak leaves that littered the sidewalk.

Andrea was dead and buried. She didn’t have a funeral; cutting too many people out of her life helped, since nobody seemed to care. The one-time attorney, who collected jewelry and designer clothes and purses, was buried as an unclaimed body in the local Potter’s field, among the homeless, unwanted, and unknown.

She stood in front of the Grimes home. The plan for getting revenge was over. She re-read the case file, and Rick was cleared. She knew it was a good shoot. She was out with a lover the night Andre died. If she had been home, things would be different. Intentions for kidnapping the boy were gone. But she knew she had been spotted. She was just feet away from Rick at lunch, and nobody was able to catch her after she accidentally hit the boy. 

She looked to her right and left; nobody was there to see her. No witnesses. She thought about what was happening in the house right now. The boy was sleeping in his bed, and Rick and the wife were asleep. His arm was probably around her, they most likely had sex, they were physically touching in their sleep…Andrea’s plan to break them up had failed.

Oscar, Tiny and Andrew knew to use disguises when they took cash advances from the ATMs. They had their prints on file, but since they altered their appearance, they were able to evade apprehension. 

But Michonne proudly showed her face at the ATMs. She wanted to be caught. She wanted Rick to know that she was still out there, and she smiled at the camera, wanting Rick to know that while his child may have been hurt, she was still free. And although the police department may have cleared him from the shooting, she has not. 

The peaceful solitude of the beautiful night in the Grimes home was interrupted by the sudden noise of breaking glass.

Within seconds Rick was halfway down the stairs, gun in hand, searching for an intruder. The streetlight poured through the darkened living room, but nobody was moving. He flicked the light on and cleared the room. A rock from Lori’s garden lay near the front door, along with shards of pieces of the picture window.


	17. Chapter 17

O’Malley’s Irish Pub was the local bat that, unlike any other place in Kings County, had existed for years. It had a long, brown bar with a mirror and the ubiquitous flat screen televisions strategically placed around the room. The pool table was the main attraction in the back room, a dance floor and a jukebox that pumped out classic hits at full volume.

That night, the place was packed rest with current and retired police officers and detectives. The smell of beer and fried food hung in the air. 

The song “Friends in Low Places” began, to a raucous reception.

Lori stood with her back to the room, talking to Lieutenant Negan’s wife.

_“Cause I've got friends in low places, Where the whiskey drowns, And the beer chases my blues away...”_

Michonne was dressed in the uniform of the waitstaff; black shoes, black pants, a white button-up tee-shirt and a red baseball cap over a black nappy wig. She did what she set out to do…blend in. She saw the slight curve in her belly, and was determined to make her baby die, never had a chance at life, just as Andre never had a chance at his.

The crowd of drunken men sang along, making the song seem louder.

_“Well, I guess I was wrong, I just don't belong, But then, I've been there before…”_

Silently, she took note of the brunette beauty’s movements. She timed it just right to mar the unblemished ivory skin, but Lori turned at the last second and the boxcutter cut her upper arm. 

Michonne quickly disappeared into the crowd and left by the fire door just as she heard the screams.

_“Hey, I didn't mean, To cause a big scene, Just give me an hour and then…”_

Lori’s screams drown out the music. She screamed for help, screamed for Rick. He stumbled over but was at her side within seconds. Someone handed him a towel and he put pressure on the wound, slightly panicking when the blood started to seep through, but trying to maintain his cool composure for Lori.

“Anyone see anything?”

A rumble from the crown told him no.

“Damn. You’ll be fine, honey. I’m right here. Did you see who did this?”

She shook her head, “no, “her face focused on the second red towel pressed against her arm.

“Ambulance is on its way.” Shane yelled.

“A room full of cops and nobody saw a God damn thing!” He hollered.

* * *

The next morning, while Lori was asleep in their bed and Carl was at school, the Grimes living room was a beehive of activity. Cellphone calls went back and forth between Rick, Shane and the detectives in the squad. 

“Rick. Footage is ready.” Detective Horvath alerted him.

Rick jogged over to the kitchen table where a laptop sat. He pulled up the footage of the restaurant from the night before. He watched as a black woman, her gaze never leaving his wife, move closer, Lori jump back in agony, and watched as the woman quickly move to the exit. The next screen was the parking lot. They zeroed in on a green Honda and watched as the woman jump in before the car sped off.

“Car is registered to Oscar Robinson. Rap sheet is a mile long. We bound a box cutter at the scene, prints on it came back to Michonne Anthony. Her prints are on the rock that broke your window. Get this – she’s the mother of the dead kid from the drug deal. Oscar is brothers with Terry.”

“So, we get the address and go.”

“Rick, you stay here.” Shane warned. “When Lori wakes up, she’s gonna want you to be here.”

“I gotta go to get this bitch. She’s the one who hit Carl. She’s the one who cut Lori. Tried to kill my wife! Tried to kill my baby girl!”

Shane walked forward and grabbed Rick’s arm, walking him outside.

“Just take a deep breath. You’re gonna get yourself sick.”

Rick was pacing back and forth on his front porch.

“My family is in danger. MY family. Maybe Lori and Carl can stay with you for a few days? I need to get them to safety.”

Desperately wanting to be with Lori again, but not wanting to ruin Rick’s family, Shane paused.

“You can’t let her keep your family on the run.”

The men turned their heads as the front door opened. Detective Stokes stepped out of the house and updated the men. “Michonne Anthony. She lost her law license five years ago after accepting bribes. She served a few years, also got popped for prostitution and possession. Andrea Harrison – she was classmates with Anthony in law school. Harrison lost her license three years ago. She recorded herself having sex with several married men in the county – judges, cops, so on and so on, and used it to blackmail for money or other favors.”

Stokes looked up from his notepad and saw Shane roll his eyes, before remembering the woman’s relationship with Rick.

“Sorry.” He said meekly before going back into the house.

“Relax.” Shane said flatly, as Rick continued to pace.

“I want that bitch dead.” He seethed.

* * *

It didn’t take long to track down the hangout of Oscar, Big Tiny and Andrew. The police lulled them into a false sense of security, while setting up round-the-clock stake outs and monitoring the phone calls that came and went from the trailer. 

The green Honda was parked in front of the small house. 

Lines of officers stood in the back while the Georgia SWAT team closed in on the trailer. 


	18. Chapter 18

Rick pulled into the police station, with Shane in the passenger seat, the end of another day of work.

“This was a good day.” Rick stated, flatly. His mind was elsewhere – he thought of Lori, her belly full term and her hormones haywire. Her body craved his constantly, and they had to make use of the time Carl was in school while they could. 

“Friday night?” Shane asked.

“Yep.” Rick checked his watch. It was two o’clock. By the time he got home and spent time with Lori, Carl would be home. “Pizza at seven.”

“Do you know how annoyingly happy you are?”

Rick just smiled. “I’m the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet.”

Full lips upturned into a crooked smile. She laughed when she thought of the pain the dumb officer would face. He destroyed Andrea’s life. He destroyed HER life. And she was ready to get her revenge.

The two officers opened their doors in tandem, still not aware of her presence.

She raised her weapon and fired, before feeling her skin being riddled with bullets coming from different directions.

Just as she was about to lose consciousness, she heard “help! Officer down!”

* * *

A cool breeze blew through the air as Lori sat next to Carl, both stoic. Her belly was swollen, her face red, her eyes continued a steady stream of tears.

The bagpipes played “Amazing Grace,” as former Lieutenant Negan and Shane carefully folded the American flag before Shane walked over, bent his knee, and handed it to Lori.

She hugged it tightly as the funeral ceremony ended. She silently cried while remaining in her chair.

When everyone was gone and the three remained, Shane helped Lori to her feet and watched as she walked forward and placed a pink rose on Rick’s casket. He watched as she bent forward and kissed it, whispering the final words of goodbye to her husband.

Shane stood a few feet away, his arm around Carl, just watching.

“Wanna go say goodbye?” He whispered.

Carl shook his head no, the tears flowing freely.

“It’s alright, buddy. You don’t have to.”

After Lori kissed the casket again, and whispering, “goodnight, my love,” she stepped away and stood by Carl.

It was Shane’s turn to say goodbye.

All the plans he thought of were long gone. The reality of the situation was that he was saying goodbye to his best friend, his partner, his brother since high school. He placed his white-gloved hand on the casket, doing his best to rein in his emotions.

“I’ll take good care of them, brother. I’ll make you proud.”

He kissed casket and turned away, moving towards Lori and letting her hook her hand in the crook of his arm while he held Carl’s hand with his free arm. 

The three walked towards the black limo, ready to head home.

* * *

**Author’s Note – Thank you so much for reading my story. I wanted the ending to be a surprise. As many of you know, and for those who don’t, it is no surprise that I am a Rick and Lori shipper, not at all Rick and Michonne. In my opinion, the show was over when that forced, disgusting and way over-hyped relationship started.**

**I wanted this story to show that true love could overcome anything. I wanted to empower Lori and give her the chance to, in her own way, “get even” with Rick by sleeping with Shane, but she wasn’t the manipulative woman as portrayed in so many stories.**

**Andrea and Michonne were meant to be the bad guys and got what they deserved. I didn’t want an open ending with a baby who doesn’t know its father, and a man who doesn’t know he has another child. In one of my favorite stories, The Journey, Rick’s anger at a hidden pregnancy and missing out on the ultrasounds, birth, first words, first steps, etc… was understandable.**

**Thanks again.**


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